Blonded dolls: According to reports, they can serve multiple purposes.
According to the street, one of the options is to avoid HOV citations.
If you’re unfamiliar with High-Occupancy Vehicle lanes, I offer a tale of creation which may or may not be true.
Los Angeles had a once four-lane highway.
It was extremely constipated.
Those in government got an idea: Within a county spanning 500 square miles — in which hour-long rides to work aren’t uncommon — let’s reserve one lane exclusively for unicorns.
Unicorn:A person who doesn’t know a neighbor at the same job or has a similar schedule would rather spend more time walking to work than if they could split one car between commuters to different destinations. They enjoy the fact that they can no longer drive independently, even though it is their primary purpose of working. They also appreciate being unable to drive after hours, and are able to endure a long commute before they’re dropped off at night.
Once the magical horse has returned to its residence, errands may be pursued — robbing the mythical creature of even more of its evening.
The plan didn’t fill the freshly re-allocated lane with spiked stallions, but it did increase the number of horns — honked amid even worse cloggage in the now-effectively-only-three-lane thoroughfare.
Enjoy a piece of cheese for your interstate intestines
Let’s now move on to smoother moves in the Big Apple
According to the New York Post, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s manager was accused of trying out HOV regulations.
General Superintendent Giulio Divirgilio’s purportedly paired himself with an inflatable individual for city travel in his Kia Telluride.
It appears that the companion is aired up and has taken to the seat in front of him, creating the illusion of two people.
MTA manager caught using blow-up doll in apparent attempt to skirt HOV laws https://t.co/voWErUlZFg pic.twitter.com/FG01PlI0HT
— New York Post (@nypost) December 15, 2021
Giulio was directly questioned by the outlet about this allegation.
Divirgilio was confronted outside of the East New York Building by The Post. He denied that he took the inflatable suit-sporting businessman with him to illegally cruise on lanes designated for high-occupancy cars.
As it turns out, the guy’s just lonesome:
“I don’t use it for the HOV,” the $122,000-per-year government official insisted. “I use it for the company.”
He posed a pointed question: “Have I ever lied to you?”
As for Giulio’s coworkers, it seems the jury’s out.
One Buses employee asked, “Why would anyone have that there except to do HOV stuff?”
A union official offered, “It’s unbecoming of a manager. We laugh, but what else is he doing in secret that we don’t know about?”
Giulio wouldn’t be alone in an effort to beat the system. Google turns up incredible photographic evidence.
The case of an Arizona resident of Tempe aged 62 was my focus in January 2013.
In order to lead the HOV lifestyle, the wheelman was a clever mummy.
You think you could use the HOV lanes with Skeletor on shotgun? You’re dead wrong! ☠︎ One of our motor troopers cited the 62-year-old male driver for HOV & window tint violations on SR-101 near Apache Blvd this morning. #NiceTry #YoureNotHeMan #AZTroopers pic.twitter.com/wQYY831mNY
— Dept. — Dept. January 23, 2020
Here’s my article:
I don’t know why the government would have such a problem with a skeleton in the front seat. They can vote already; let them drive!
Back to Giulio, he’s former NYPD.
An MTA employee aged more than 10 years was issued two tickets for parking infractions earlier this year. One of them was due to the absence of a frontplate.
Fortunately for Mr. Lonely, he’s not lacking a front friend.
I assume Giulio’s innocent, but what about all those on the road who are using dummies to triumph over traffic?
And if it’s also “for the company,” what’s happening when the combustible couples get home?
We hope none of the dolls get punctured.
It’s by something in the back.
Actually, that doesn’t sound any better.
-ALEX
You can find more of my content here:
University Paper Fires Writer. Bias Training Ordered After A Non-White Student Has Been Misnamed
Harvard spends one year reviewing its decor and discovers too many portraits of white men
The Gang of Angry Otters Gets Man Handling His Business
All my RedState works Here.
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