‘Halloween Kills’ Is the COVID Allegory We Have Been Dying For – Opinion

Guest reviewer praises the brilliant commentary on pandemics.

— by Martin I. Tiburon


While on its surface “Halloween Kills” appears like a straightforward scary movie release for the coming holiday — I mean, heck, it’s right there in the title! There is more to the movie than meets the eye, and it’s not hard to see. The film is full of metaphors, and President Biden would be proud of it.

The movie opens with an oppressive scene straight from childhood nightmares. The fire alarm goes off when a house is set on fire. As firefighters attempt to put out the flames, the towering figure appears and starts killing first responders. This sets off a string of events that fit in with the fears evoked by the holiday, with Jamie Lee Curtis battling the baddie, and a surprise appearance by Anthony Michael Hall, famous as the hunky QB in “Johnny Be Good.” There is violence, and blood, and gore. However, there’s more.

Being a well-known cinema reviewer comes with a bonus: we receive a press kit from the studio. This is something that’s not readily available to the general population. It includes a quote by Danny McBride, coscreenwriter (voice of Bomb in “Angry Birds: The Movie”). McBride mentioned a tie in for the script in this media package. “There’s all kinds of crazy crap, and stuff, happening with this virus, and we just thought it feeds into the fear and other nonsense and junk, so…yea.” And THIS is what opened my eyes.

We were film school students at Florida State University. The concept that movie scripts carry an overarching metaphorical message was something we learned about as film school students. For instance, “The X-Men” franchise is about the oppression of minorities (I know, mind blown, right?!). Also, “Aliens” was a treatise on the Vietnam War, “Inception” is emblematic of filmmaking itself, and “Dumbo” was an animated representation of the space race with Russia. So, too, I came to realize, “Halloween Kills” serves as a representation of our contemporary pandemic strife.

Following McBride’s trenchant tip, I began to see the obvious ties. The most prevalent message is that “Halloween Kills” is a pro-vaxx, Biden administration message film for the ages. What is the secret to this? You can see that Michael Meyers is the principal of the movie and wears a mask. This is a fact that you should doubt. Consider every victim depicted in the movie; each one who ends up dead is revealed and met with a horrific end.

Jamie Lee Curtis is another anti-vaccine character. From the start, Jamie Lee Curtis is the anti-vaccine avatar. You will be surprised at the nuances once you have been exposed to the messages in the screenplay.

The first act features a confusing flashback to 1978. It seems at first to be random, since it doesn’t belong in the film’s universe. Once the literal intent of the movie is understood, it becomes clearer. This is the initial breakout of virus at Wuhan, when the virus unleashed its fatalities before it became an unstoppable force for death and destruction. 

More plot points are an exact match to our nation’s plight. Anthony Michael Hall is the force behind a crowd of citizens rising up to the force, emblematic of today’s mandate resisters in the news. The opening massacre of firefighters was inspired by the story about city workers who defied government protocol. We begin to notice the subtle brilliance of the screenplay as the story unfolds. It is a brilliant commentary on the current pandemic, and it’s delivered in an unrecognizable costume.

This is the lesson: Those who are opposed to safety measures today are assuring that their own death, even though it’s delivered in a terrifying package. Maybe this allegory is just what will be needed to convince people of the dangers and finally sign on to Joe Biden’s safety measures! Only time will tell.

Editor’s note: this review is a parody piece. All the praise and scorn that results should be directed to Brad Slager.

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