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An Inarticulate Reporter, Inanimate Buccaneers, and a Perambulating President – Opinion

By Pluralist / November 11, 2021

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer consideration

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. We must recognize journalistic mistakes-excellence to be able to correctly identify them.

 

Distinguished Public Service

  • Miami Herald Bot — Miami Herald

When it comes to Governor Ron DeSantis’s press, Florida has seen a bunch of barking dogs. The Miami Herald has been the most vocal of these state newspapers. It was therefore with pure amusement that they recently announced the hiring of a robot reporter. To send out real estate notices, the robot reporter uses an artificial intelligence program.

There were a number of jokes springing to mind regarding the improvement of the reporting, and such, but no better gag could have been written than this: One day recently, the robot had the most widely read article on the newspaper’s website.

 

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Jennifer Finley Boylan – New York Times

I love the idea of a writers’ meeting at the New York Times where a managing editor turns to his scribes and asks what aspects of our culture have yet to be canceled. Unsteadily, one reporterette raises her hand and suggests classical rock music. The editor cheers him on and orders her to continue.

This is the most plausible explanation for the stuttering thoughtpiece about the horrible music that you might hear at your local oldies station.

– “For a lot of baby boomers, it’s painful to realize that some of the songs first lodged in our memories in adolescence really need a second look. And it’s hard to explain why younger versions of ourselves ever thought they were OK in the first place.”

Imagine that – a rebellious art form is not adhering to your safe-space sensitivities. We need to pass a law that for ANY column, editorial, lecture, or thinkpiece that can use the phrase ‘It’s time we take a look at…’ in its subheader, that writer is banished for one year from producing content.

 

Distinguished National Reporting

  • Nancy Cook — Bloomberg News

We understand the difficulty of reporting on President Obama’s vacation. This is completely acceptable NotYou can report even if there’s not much to be reported. We do not need to know that while vacationing — Joe and Jill Biden went for a walk.

Here’s a helpful tip: Placing the words “The President and First Lady” in front of quotidian tasks does not elevate those tasks into being newsworthy. Nancy, let me tell you. The First Lady and the President discussed their concerns about their neighbors’ irrigation trench. 

HOA letters were sent to the President and First Ladies letting them know that recycling would now be taken up on another day, starting next month.

The First Lady and President bought lottery scratch-off tickets.

You can see how reports do not deliver the results you want.

 

Distinguished National Criticism

On Brian Stelter’s ever-ironically titled show The Most Reliable SourcesHe hosted a panel to talk about the origins of Joe Biden’s proposed spending bills, and the reaction from the nation to them. CNN contributor historian Nicole Hemmer was one panelist. She tried to explain where the burden of knowledge lay on this subject. Brian was happy to see her give the media very little attention, even though it cost common sense.

It is unclear how consumers of media have a much greater level of responsibility than the media themselves, but she did her proper signaling on Brian’s media cheerleading program.

 

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

  • Tommy Christopher — Mediaite

In a reflexive defense of Joe Biden, Mediaite’s own flub machine, Tommy Christopher, boldly disputes that the president referred to the great baseball pitcher Satchel Paige as a “Negro,” contradicting the reports from outlets such as our own.

That Christopher would try to dispute what is easily seen on video is one thing, but he also provided the transcript, where Joe’s malaprop is printed for all — including Tommy — to see. Don’t believe what you see with your eyes or ears. Mr. Christopher will correct the record.

 

Distinguished Feature Writing

  • Nell Greenfieldboyce — National Public Radio

Marine biologists learned new information about whales’ feeding and consumption habits through coverage of new research. The physiology and behavior of cetaceans can get quite complex writing. NPR needs to simplify the matter. So how can it be shown that a whale eats…well, a whole bunch…?It’s true!

 

Outstanding Local Reporting

  • Amanda Bartlett — San Francisco Gate

We have to believe that this is an incredibly difficult story. It was actually not as harrowing, according to the report. In fact it barely qualifies for news. The problem is that SF Gate details for their readers the gripping tale of individuals who were at Disneyland and became trapped on the “Pirates of the Caribbean” themed ride. Well…they got stuck.

The workers had to keep the people in their boats so that they were better positioned to allow them to calmly leave. This is a dramatic story of the hardships they endured.

– “All things considered, the guests on the ride were relatively calm — even the kids. A little boy behind Rokos started to play a handheld video game, while a baby on the boat remained sound asleep the entire time.”

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Pluralist

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