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Rat Cookies, Squirrel Grinches, and Phone Tastings – Opinion

By Pluralist / December 23, 2021

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. We must recognize journalistic mistakes-excellence to be able to correctly identify them.

Internationally Distinguished Reporting

  • Rikako Murayama, Rocky Swift – Reuters

This falls squarely in that category noted in “Jurassic Park,” where scientists are more preoccupied with whether they could do something rather than whether they should. A new television screen is in development to enhance the sensory experience.

Taste the TV, or TTTV (Taste the TV) uses a combination of 10 canisters of different flavours that are sprayed together to produce the desired taste. This device allows people to enjoy the feeling of eating in restaurants around the globe, while being at their home.

Porn applications for this technology are, I believe, already in development.

 

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Lorraine Ali – Los Angeles Times

The LA Times’ TV critic makes the lamest of attempts to impugn Fox News, and conservative media in general, for creating a crisis for our democracy. According to some, the reason this is happening is because the Right’s anxiety and hyperbolics seem very appealing. “Fox News, social media juggernaut Facebook and a constellation of hard-right outlets reveled in the fear of uncertain times.”

They are somehow enjoying fear. Not promoting vaccines, by Do not downplayIt was a riot in the Capitol. Declining You can get medical advice from puppets. Also, the rest of the media, therefore, is NOT trafficking in fear when they hype every virus advancement, spend an entire year declaring a riot to be the worst thing to ever transpire in this country, and stipulating that any political policy they disagree with is going to – as the headline alludes – bring about the end of our democracy.

 

Distinguished Feature Writing

  • Michael Lyle – Nevada Current

To the various efforts in redistricting the voting zones across the country, the media has taken a split approach. The Democrats engage in noble redistricting, for the good of all citizens. However, the GOP hatefully uses gerrymandering and restricts the voting rights of minorities.

Nevada is one state receiving little coverage. But this is because the Democrats in Nevada are sabotaging the process. The process has been so badly managed, one incumbent Democrat blames her party and begs for assistance from interest groups.

Rep. Dina Tutus is almost done. In spirited remarks at an AFL-CIO town hall Wednesday, she told union members “I’m going to need your help on something terrible. It was a complete surprise. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] by the Legislature on my district,” she said. “I’m sorry to say it like that, but I don’t know any other way to say it.”

 

Outstanding Local Reporting

  • Jane Margolies – New York Times

NYC’s rat problem is well-known. A new strategy to combat the pest has been discovered. This curiosity is not surprising. Once they feel at ease, the new tactic lures them in.

The traps are unique because they use brand-name cookies to lure rodents in. It is unlikely that Nabisco would be thrilled to have this venture as a partner.

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Ryan Gajewski – The Hollywood Reporter

The newest comedy franchise in the theaters is currently enjoying great success. “Ghostbusters:  Afterlife” is an effort to revitalize the property as it establishes a new generation of spectral warriors with a direct tie to the past movies. It is happy enough to have already begun marketing the boxed sets of these titles that will go on sale February 1st for the home release.

Sony Pictures is quite perturbed by the promotion of Paul Feig (director of the 2016 film). The release will not include his movie which was widely criticized and was a major money-loser to the studio.

 

Distinguished Public Service

Many people are dismayed about the emergence of the new COVID variant sweeping the country, so the Times has decided to lend a checklist to help people self-diagnose — because after telling people for over a year to only listen to doctors, the press now declare themselves to be arbiters of public health.

Problem is that the symptoms list is vague and broad in nature. There is also the possibility of the newspaper overhyping the situation slightly. Another problem (and not symptom) is the fact that Omicron is the Times’ main message to people about the flu.

Outstanding Local Reporting

  • Frederick Melo – Pioneer Press

We learn in Minneapolis that the violence from George Floyd protests has subsided, but the riots are still raging. When we find out that Christmas war is fully underway, they may reconsider defunding police.

This year, $27.400 was spent to reduce and reconfigure the lighting display that had been up since November. The Mears Park squirrels like to chew through wires coated in polylactic acid. It is a tempting derivative of corn sugar.

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