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Ketchup Desserts, Space Cockroaches, and Criminal Jacuzzis – Opinion

By Pluralist / June 26, 2022

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. We must recognize journalistic mistakes-excellence to be able to correctly identify them.

 

Specialized Explanatory Reporting

  • Mark Pratt — Associated Press

Space X, Elon Musk’s venture that launched Space X has changed the face of space exploration. It delivered more missions and showed how components can return to earth at prescribed times. Elon Musk has in many ways exceeded NASA’s expectations. NASA seems to have shifted its focus to other areas, including recovering the space vermin NASA claims belong to it.

Background: A study on components of the Moon was done following Apollo 11’s mission in the 1960s. The scientist retained these elements after the experiment was complete. NASA has claimed ownership of the materials after the daughter had sold them the items many years ago.

The experiment material, which included a vial containing about 40 mgs of moon powder and three cockroach carcasses was supposed to fetch at least $400,000 but was pulled from auction, RR stated Thursday.

 

Distinguished National Reporting

  • Joseph De Avila — Wall Street Journal

It’s possible that you have forgotten the details, due to all the attention given to Johnny Depp trials and trans swimmers. But Marc Jacobs, fashion designer, is Ohio State University. They have been engaged in intensive negotiations regarding branding and trademark ownerships. Both sides want the right designation.

A professional truce was struck so that both sides could now use the contested brand. As a result, certification was granted to the university by the U.S. Patent Office.

Ohio State was able to officially trademark the word “THE”.

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Emily Lefroy — New York Post

Many times, parody websites use Adobe Photoshop for creating ghastly fake products to entertain their users. They are trying to create one of these grocery items in Canada for some unfathomable reason.

The condiment conglomerate French’s is marketing–just for the summer–frozen Ketchup popsicles, because the world is not suffering enough these days, it seems.

 

International Excellence in Reporting

The British clergy made a tough decision about the practices and standards of church leaders.

 

Distinguished National Reporting

  • Gloria Cowdin — Baking business

Hostess was convinced that there would be a market advantage in acknowledging cryptocurrency. The company created a snack that could be used to mimic digital currency. It is a modified Twinky with a circular shape.

Let’s say that while we grasp what they were going for with the name, the timing of this brings up uncomfortable results. It would have been much better for them to wait just a few more weeks before launching this product.

Distinguished Headline Writing

  • Shoshana Wadinsky — Gizmodo

Sometimes it is enough to simply applaud someone’s effort. When news broke that a certain brand of ‘smart’ jacuzzis had not protected the personal information of the buyers, the gang at Gizmodo was at the ready with an explanation. [Editor’s note: It is highly unlikely that the word “exposed” in the Gizmodo headline is accidental.]

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