Fetal Statues, Trendy Cannibals, and Pitchfork Teddy Bears – Opinion

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism worthy of a skewed version of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

In addition to our media-mocking endeavor at Townhall Riffed from The Headlines we recognize outstanding journalism performances and collect worthy submissions for Pulitzer Prize boards in various categories. We must recognize journalistic mistakes-excellence in order to correctly identify them.


The Best Local Reporting

  • Jacob Burbrink – WXIN Fox News 59

Indiana’s reports of a shooting at a mall in Indiana could have resulted in far more deaths than the three. However, a patron of the food court rose to the occasion and dropped him with his sidearm. This saved untold lives. Although they couldn’t bear to report positive gun news, the local news station included disqualifying details.

The owners of a mall where a shooting took place Sunday had a policy in place making the location a “gun-free” zone. Simon Property Group’s code of conduct, last updated April 2020, states that weapons are not allowed in their shopping malls.


Specialized Explanatory Reporting

  • Patricia Zengerle – Reuters

In Washington, D.C., Reuters reporter Zengerle was on the scene to witness an uproarious mob of insurrectionists – according to her. In truth, it was a group of about eight or so Boomers, and a few of them were toting the American flag; but in Patricia’s eyes, she was bearing witness to a violent coup. Keep in mind, these same reporters can stand in front of a looted building set on fire and declare the scene to be “peaceful.”


Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Alex Beggs – New York Times

After analyzing a shocking number of entertainment options that include the consumption of human beings, The Times made a balanced approach to this subject. The approach was that a number of social factors have led to the idea of cannibalism becoming more – shall we say – palatable to audiences.

As to what may be fueling the desire for cannibalism stories today, Ms. Lyle, the “Yellowjackets” co-creator, said, “I think that we’re obviously in a very strange moment.” She listed the pandemic, climate change, school shootings and years of political cacophony as possible factors.

While there are likely to be food shortages due to high inflation, could we not go through Venezuela’s stage first? Then, let us turn our backs on one another. However, it could be that Leftists are trying to eradicate each other to save the planet. I may still openly consider the possibility.


Distinguished Sports Reporting

  • Sarah Larson – New York Times Magazine

Pickleball is growing in popularity. Pickleball became a popular pastime during the epidemic. In reaction, The Times looked deeply into the game – very deeply.

Coverage includes the current tournaments, the game’s history, and how some organized leagues have created divisions by locking players into exclusivity contracts. This is all weighed against the potential for the sport to unite the country. Another thing that could bring us closer together is our attempt to stop Pickleball: A collection of 7,000-word think pieces


Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Melissa Ruggieri – USA Today

This article features an interview of Pat Benatar before she appears in Epix’s documentary series featuring female musicians. The singer gave an interview to USA Today while on tour and said that gun violence has caused her songs to be altered.

We’re not doing “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and fans are having a heart attack and I’m like, I’m sorry, in deference to the victims of the families of these mass shootings, I’m not singing it. They tell me, “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” is not the right song. I suggest they go home to listen. Although the title may be tongue-in cheek, you must draw the line. I can’t say those words out loud with a smile on my face, I just can’t.


Distinguished Investigative Reporting

  • Kate Peterson – USA Today

There are many stories that merit fact-checks these days. One of those is the abortion debate. It is amazing how many women are claiming that ectopic pregnancy can be considered an abortion. Given the number of claims being made in the media, fact-checkers hesitate to verify these assertions. Instead, the time is spent on frivolous claims made on social media.

USA Today refutes the claim that an unmarried couple got an abortion in violation of the law. Roe vs. WadeThey have displayed the baby in an open display as a protest sign and preserved it. This was actually a photo of a statue made from an animated character from a videogame. We were thankfully able to find the truth through the news outlets.


The Best Local Reporting

  • Ray Villeda – WOFL Fox 35 Orlando

Sunshine State psychosis is well-known and there are few clues as to the exact state it took place.

According to Florida Highway Patrol, Tuesday saw the arrest of a Central Florida woman who was seen running from Publix in her black whip and pitchfork while selling teddy bears.

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