Eight Things More Popular Than Epic Failure CNN+

CNBC revealed Tuesday that CNN+’s active users have dropped to fewer than 10,000 in the two weeks since it launched. CNN’s executives created a plan to ruin the brand and launch something that is even worse than its parent cable network. 

It is absurd that CNN thought there was a market of $5.99 per month for Anderson Cooper and Chris Wallace. But, the truth is, almost no one has regular cable. 

This was because there were more witches than CNN primetime viewers. We saw it coming from miles away.

This list shows just how little this country is. 

■  A Kickstarter campaign for potato salad made more money (over $55,000) than CNN+ did from their first month of subscription fees ($2.99/mo)

■  In the U.S. alone, 10,386 people died by falling out of bed between 1999 and 2014.

■  An Instagram account called @daily_otis that posts this same picture of a CGI cow every day (and nothing else) has nearly five times as many followers as CNN+

■  According to Wikipedia, the tiny island of Tuvalu has more residents (11,900) than people who subscribe to CNN+

■  A YouTube video of paint drying (and that’s it) has more viewers (nearly 1.1 million) than CNN+

■  During Christmas, the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) handles over 130,000 phone calls from children on the whereabouts of Santa Claus

■  Over 118,000,000 are estimated to be subscribed to play World of Warcraft, a popular video game.

■  In 2016, the Australian Bureau of Statistics found there are “close to 48,000” Jedi in the country


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