The Centers for Disease Control has had a rough couple of years, constantly making fools of themselves during this endless COVID “pandemic” by issuing laughable, often contradictory orders.
From the Washington Post in 2020, as the pandemic raged:
The agency’s response to the worst public health crisis in a century — the coronavirus pandemic — has been marked by technical blunders and botched messaging…
Worst yet, the CDC’s institutional credibility has been eroded at a crucial time for the country.
They’ve fallen to new lows recently though, with their pornographic, laughable new edicts regarding monkeypox and salmonella.
Their latest: Don’t get amorous with your chickens. Or even your ducks, if that’s your lane.
We are playing a chicken game with the FDA and CDC.
— Sarah Beth Burwick (@sarahbeth345) January 7, 2022
Fox News provides helpful reports
In a recent investigation notice titled Salmonella Outbreaks Linked to Backyard Poultry, the health agency (the CDC) explained that domestic fowl like chickens and ducks can be salmonella carriers, so backyard flock owners should make sure to not “kiss or snuggle” these birds in order to Avoid infection.
Sometimes I wish I was a health official, because I would say things like, “Hey, how about maybe don’t be a freakin’ weirdo?” Maybe don’t get amorous with your fowl because that’s well… foul.
The CDC also advised that people should not eat or drink near the source of infection. backyard poultry because it could be possible for salmonella bacteria to land on food, liquids or packaging, which would likely transmit the illness through someone’s mouth.
You can’t help but wonder — who was sitting in the chicken coop scarfing down a burger? Did there not seem to be any other food?
But if the CDC hasn’t beclowned itself enough already, they gave out these handy tips for avoiding monkeypox:
Monkeypox is now a legal sex method.
These include:
It is sex without any in-person contact.
-Masturbating at least six feet apart, but not touching sores or rash.
You can have sex while wearing clothes or covering sores.
— Dr. David Samadi (@drdavidsamadi) June 17, 2022
Thanks, Lord. TBH I was concerned, but I now know that I can masturbate from afar. I’ll also be sure not to rub my sores up against anyone else’s. While doing this, I’ll make sure that my N95 is always on. I will be… Super safe!
This is becoming outright gross, CDC. Show self-respect.
Also, as long as we’re entering the uncomfortable zone here, how exactly do you have sex with no in-person contact? Please tell me.
The announcement that COVID vaccines were now available to children aged 6 months to 5 years by Rochelle Wallensky, CDC Director, was made in the same week. She was virtually overcome by the joy she experienced when injecting small children with experimental drugs.
The CDC used to be a trusted institution providing sober advice as well as pertinent information about health before the outbreak. They are now a laughing stock, thanks to their many errors and lies.
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