Catching up With the Wide Wide World of Puppies … Er, Sports – Opinion

We, the Sports Desk located below the Good Pirate Ship RedState take this opportunity to apologize for our inability to cover recent sporting news. Truth is, our vaunted research department got the wrong memo and was almost ready to release a 37 part detailed analysis of this past Sunday’s major sporting event only to discover they had been focusing on the Puppy Bowl. Oops.

First up is the Barbed Wire … er, Beijing Winter Olympics, where the snow is fake, and so are the results. It’s difficult to know for whom one should feel more sympathy: the athletes who have devoted much of their lives sacrificing and working toward the dream of competing in pursuit of Olympic gold only to find themselves stuck in an inedible on multiple layers embarrassment or the media whose souls are consumed by simultaneous craven cowardice and financial concerns to the point where you had NBC News’ Savannah Guthrie calling the cheap peep show of an Uyghur athlete co-lighting the Olympic flame during opening ceremonies … this.

During the NBC telecast, Guthrie described the decision as ‘provocative’ and an ‘in- your-face response to Western nations, including the U.S, who have called Chinese treatment of that group genocide and diplomatically boycotted these games.’

This must mean that these people cannot see their reflections in mirrors. How could these people possibly endure the sight of their reflection in a mirror?

Next is the NBA trade season. This was highlighted, or low-lighted, by the Brooklyn Nets sending James Harden (permanent malcontent star) to Philadelphia 76ers in exchange for Ben Simmons and other malcontent stars. Harden, who has never played for the Nets because of chronic incompetence, is currently out with injury. Simmons however hasn’t been able to make the team due to his immaturity. Simmons was not happy with Philadelphia’s fans and signed a mega-deal for Simmons that would last for years. New York City fans will be easier to deal with. Dude should have asked for a trade to a small town market like Sacramento, where you get a standing ovation for simply wearing the home team’s jersey. Meanwhile, the Lakers didn’t make any trades even though they should have, while the Warriors didn’t make any trades because they didn’t need anything.

There is no sign of an end to the baseball lockout, and neither side has done much to alter the status quo. Just as people started to pay attention again to the game, it was over. I work in a sporting goods shop, where the kids are constantly looking for equipment and baseball knowledge. They may not realize it, but they could be the best in town this spring.

And yes, the Puppy … er, Super Bowl wrap-up. It is a great feeling to have my team win. It’s all credit to the Bengals, who have turned around their franchise. However, in the future, Aaron Donald might be a bit crazy. As to the halftime show … um, what channel is the Puppy Bowl on?

Let me end with a note of sympathy. Thank you to everyone who reached out with condolences over my brother’s recent passing. My writings about sports are lighthearted and humorous. This is something anyone can enjoy, even if they’re not sports lovers. The purpose of sports is to give you a little break from your daily grind. It is understandable that some people are offended by the incessant drive of professional and amateur athletes to excel. That is something I can understand. I hope those who feel this way will respect the people on the other side who continue to follow our favorite sports teams and athletes. Ecclesiastes tells us:

It is my belief that happiness and doing good are the best things for human beings.

Even though it’s all bad, sports make me happy every now and again. ‘Nuff said.

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