Amy Schumer Invents “I Don’t Want to Be Here” Chic – Opinion

New York City’s Met Gala takes place tonight, May 2nd. The Met Gala is an annual fundraiser event for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, this explaining why 99.44 percent of the outfits worn by those attending the event have to be costumes as no sane person would ever dress this way for real-life stuff. We all recall with tremendous affection Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s “Tax The Rich” dress from last year’s soirée, it providing a week’s worth of quality chuckles and parody opportunities.

Covering such events requires a lot of muttering about how the late great Andrew Breitbart was right; politics is downstream from culture and we on the right need to have at least passing knowledge of what’s going on in society to better equip ourselves for engaging with others not yet red-pilled. And let’s be honest; there are also tremendous opportunities for high hilarity when you see what some of these people have concocted. One attendee might have set a new standard in how to approach such events. Is it high?

Amy Schumer, please! Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer Wears Dark Sunglasses While Joking She’s ‘Here for the Drinks’ at 2022 Met Gala https://t.co/q0bEphDKUT

— People (@people) May 2, 2022

The hardest part? Let’s start with the dress.

Amy Schumer is at The 2022 #MetGala #MetGala2022 pic.twitter.com/M0LQ5tzIrN

— #MetGala (@21metgala) May 2, 2022

Actually, we can’t start with the dress. There isn’t one. Instead, we have a gushingly described “coat dress.” A coat dress is what a woman who could officially not care less throws on. It saves her the trouble of checking her coat, and it conveniently hides the fact she’s not wearing anything aside from, hopefully, underwear.

The sunglasses are next. The perfect accessory. The perfect accessory. Amy, you were aware that the job was hazardous when you accepted it.

The only thing missing from the ensemble is a cigarette dangling from Amy Schumer’s lips and a button on her coat dress reading SORRY I’M LATE; I DIDN’T WANT TO COME. The theme for tonight’s shindig is “gilded glamour.” Apparently, Schumer misheard this as “wilted candor.”

The woman obviously doesn’t want to be there. Yet she is there and it’s a creative twist. Schumer has managed to call maximum attention to herself by appearing in peak “I don’t want to be appearing here” form. Others are desperate for attention in outrageous outfits.

Fredrik Robertsson is at The 2022 #MetGala #MetGala2022 pic.twitter.com/zI4XWy2Mej

— #MetGala (@21metgala) May 3, 2022

Um … yeah. Return to Schumer. We should not be mocking Amy for her cartoon-like liberal views or inexplicable waves of humorless humor. Let’s thank her instead. Follow her lead and you too can be different from the rest. Make it obvious you’d rather be cleaning the cat box than being wherever you happen to be! You too can become the star of your own show.

You should head towards the nearest exit.