ABC’s racist comedy black-ish fan-girled so hard over former First Lady Michelle Obama during her cameo appearance on Tuesday’s episode, “That’s What Friends Are For,” you’d think she was Jesus. Or, should I say “black Jesus,” since that’s how the show referred to him twice during the same episode. It’s because everything needs to be racial.
It started innocently. Dre’s (Anthony Anderson) wife Bow (Tracee Ellis Ross) invites him to a charity event which he’s reluctant to attend.
“This is an event for a great cause,” Bow pleads. “Look, ‘When We All Vote works to change the culture around voting and increase voter turnout by helping to close the age and race gap at the polls.’ Plus, it says there’s a special guest.”
For context, When We All Vote is a voting rights group founded by Obama.
Bow argues they need more couple friends, which Dre also dreads, complaining that all her friends have “duds” for husbands, leaving him bored while the women have a good time. But Dre attends the event with Bow, sure that the special guest is John Legend because, “it’s always John Legend.”
As it turns out, the special guest is Michelle Obama, which sends Dre and Bow into a state of awe and wonder as if the heavens had opened and “black Jesus” Himself came down:
Dre: It’s been an hour. Are we allowed to take these spinach puffs with us and get out?
Bow: We cannot, Dre.
Dre: Why?
Bow: You should be nice. Be a nice –
Dre: Let’s get out of here, Babe. What?
Bow: Who are you?
Dre: Sweet Black Jesus. It’s not John Legend.
Bow:
When Bow and Dre arrive home, they can’t help but brag to their family about meeting Michelle, describing it as “magical,” which then leads to a ridiculous cartoon dream sequence in which the Obama worship is laid on thick. They announce to their family that Michelle will be coming over for dinner. The entire family is thrilled.
Ruby: Hey! Ruby: Hey! What made my baby use marijuana?
Bow: What?! It’s not true. We just met someone special. We mean, something very special.
Dre
Bow: Oh no, most likely not.
Dre: Michelle Obama was the one who did it!
Ruby: Michelle Obama?!
Junior: Do you think it was her? Barack Obama impersonators are a familiar trick.
Dre: He was just pretending to not be himself, so that he wouldn’t attract a crowd.
Bow: We know that it was her, because we connect like we have known each other for a long time. Our conversation was all about parents and professionals. Oh…
Both: Magical.
♪ Keep smilin’, keep shinin’ ♪ Knowin’ you can always count on me, for sure ♪ That’s what friends are for ♪ For good times and bad times ♪ I’ll be on your side forevermore ♪ That’s what friends are for ♪ Keep smilin’, keep shinin’ ♪
Ruby, how do you find out if Ruby feels the same thing about you?
Pops: Yeah. The same boy that thought he had made eye contact while on tour with Rhythm Nation. He then went to school and told everyone that Janet was his girlfriend.
Dre: I saw her soul.
Bow: We are certain because Michelle Obama called me.
Dre: She will join us Saturday night for dinner.
All: Ho-ho-ho-ho! What?!
Olivia: This is incredible!
Ruby: They lie’.
Junior: We are going to start brainstorming ideas for how we can greet her. “Hello” does not feel special enough!
Olivia: It’s not.
When the family finds out they’re banned from the dinner, they react with indignant outrage. And, Junior (Marcus Scribner) even goes so far as to call it “child abuse.” But Pops has a plan that once again sends the family into blissful Obama worship. Even their neighbor can’t help but join in the frenzied obsessive behavior:
Pops: Hang on, Hold On! Thank you for all of your efforts. If you would like this dinner to be all for yourself, we’ll honor that request. I don’t understand what Rainbow or Dre want to accomplish, and I do not feel the need to respect their wishes. It is insane.
Ruby: This woman has a Black Jesus!
Pops: I’m sure you all understand how I feel about an official from the government being in my house. We are talking about Michelle Obama. You can’t go wrong!
Ruby: Michelle Obama!
Jack: It is only fair.
Diane: What do they really think they’re like?
Jack: We’re teenagers. It’s us who are supposed to abandon them and not vice versa.
Diane: Right.
Junior: I don’t even really want to be with you for that long. Only one image that I could use for my enemy’s faces.
Olivia: Yes, I do. I want her to sign my “Becoming” book and let me know that I am enough.
Pops: Do you know of any connections that could help her to forgive certain 1960s indiscretions so she can obtain a passport? Do you feel the same?
Ruby: Alright, alright, alright! It’s then decided. This party is going to be a disaster. Huh? Jack, go get me my disguise trunk. Go ahead.
Dre: Michelle Obama was welcomed into our humble home on the evening of her dinner.
Bow: Do you have any ideas?
Dre: What?
Bow: This is how it doesn’t feel strange.
Dre: You know what I mean?
Bow: She is warm, down-to earth, and so welcoming. Did you know I sent her confirmation text and she replied with a dancing-lady emoticon?
Dre: That’s it? No words?
Bow: It was like saying, “Wah!”
Dre: She’s cool. Oh, okay, okay!
Bow: Okay, baby!
Dre: Please, baby, press my arm button! Okay, I will button. Button, okay. Okay. Ok, now. Give it to me, one. Oh! Okay, hey.
Janine: Hi. Janine: I was thinking of doing the neighborly thing and bringing my tuna-zoodle dish to share on Saturday. You can come in please.
Both: No!
Janine: Okay, now, when I was interviewed by the Secret Service, I put 2 and 2 together. It is obvious that Mrs. Obama will be there. It is all I want to do is meet her.
Both: No.
Janine: I will pretend to be your maid.
Dre: Uh, uh, good night.
Janine: It’s a white maid! That would certainly be something!
Ha ha! Ha ha! As Michelle, Bow and Dre have fun talking with Michelle about parenthood challenges amongst other subjects, the rest of the meal goes without incident.
Afterwards, the couple texts Michelle to invite Barack to their next dinner together, and excitement fills them as they discuss all the perks of being friends with the Obamas. But Michelle bursts their Obama obsession bubble when she tells them Barack is too busy working on his next book, leaving Dre distressed and realizing he’s the “dud” this time in the friend couple.
Bow is delighted that she still gets to hang with Michelle, though, and Ruby and Pops are riding on their Obama high, speaking in fancy British accents while Ruby dons a crown because they got to make a “real connection” with her.
Perhaps Jesus, the genuine and medium-toned Jesus, will soon be here to save us all from future Obama-obsessed lovefests. We can only pray.
Conservatives fight back! This episode was sponsored by GEICO, Liberty Mutual, and Toyota. You can click each advertiser to find their contact information.
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