The Seven Pillars of Remembrance: Insights from “six to carry the casket and one to say the mass”

Bill Hulseman Crafts a New Framework for Living Meaningfully After Loss 

In the delicate terrain of grief and spiritual healing, Bill Hulseman’s six to carry the casket and one to say the mass: reflections on life, identity, and moving forward rises as both a beacon and a balm. Rather than simply recount his experiences with loss, Hulseman offers a philosophical and pastoral structure, a framework that could be called the Seven Pillars of Remembrance. These are not explicitly labeled in his book but emerge organically through his reflections. Together, they form a model for living meaningfully after loss. 

At the heart of the book is the conviction that remembrance is not a backward-looking exercise but a forward-driving force. Hulseman suggests that we are shaped as much by the people we have lost as by those still present in our lives. Their absence alters our worldview, but their memory remains a source of wisdom, joy, and purpose. The “pillars” of remembrance, then, are not monuments to the past but foundations for the future. 

The first pillar is Ritual. From the physical act of carrying the casket to the spoken word of the mass, rituals ground grief in community and time. Hulseman emphasizes that Catholic traditions, vigils, feast days, sacramental observances, offer more than solemnity. They provide rhythm, structure, and a shared language for sorrow. In a world that often rushes through mourning, rituals teach us how to pause and be present. 

The second pillar is Story. Hulseman encourages the practice of storytelling, not just about how someone died, but about how they lived. What jokes did they tell? What passions drove them? What did they believe in? These stories do not simply honor the dead; they animate our values. They remind us of what matters and prompt us to live in continuity with those who came before us. 

The third pillar is Community. Loss can isolate, but Hulseman pushes back against the narrative of solitary suffering. He speaks tenderly about those who walked with him in silence, offered meals, or simply showed up. The grieving process, he suggests, is sustained by presence. We do not need perfect words, just willingness to bear witness. 

Fourth is Silence. In contrast to the noise of modern life and even the well-meaning din of advice from others, silence holds sacred space. Hulseman describes moments of sitting in chapels, walking in nature, or resting without distraction. These moments are not empty; they are full of Spirit. Silence becomes a language between the living and the dead, and between the self and the divine. 

The fifth pillar is Naming. In both religious and personal terms, to name is to recognize and to honor. Hulseman reflects on the power of saying the names of the departed, aloud, in prayer, in stories, and even in casual conversation. Naming keeps relationships alive. It insists that someone’s impact did not end with their last breath. 

Sixth is Action. This pillar turns memory into mission. Hulseman invites readers to embody the best of those they have lost. Whether it’s through a charitable act, a new habit, or simply a change in perspective, these actions give memory hands and feet. They extend love into the world in tangible ways. 

And finally, the seventh pillar is Faith. While faith permeates every page of the book, it stands on its own as the ultimate source of hope. Hulseman does not offer a naïve faith untouched by doubt. Rather, he offers a faith that is resilient, compassionate, and rooted in mystery. It is a faith that says even when we do not understand loss, we can trust that love endures. 

Each of these seven themes, Ritual, Story, Community, Silence, Naming, Action, and Faith, interweaves throughout Hulseman’s book. While they are not formal chapter headings, they emerge through repeated emphasis, forming a cohesive vision for living with grief. For those seeking a structure not just to mourn but to live with depth and intention, these pillars serve as a sacred architecture. 

Bill Hulseman’s six to carry the casket and one to say the mass is more than memoir. It is a spiritual manual for navigating grief with grace and remembering with purpose. It reminds us that loss is not the end of influence, and that memory, when tended well, becomes legacy. 

For more about the author and his ongoing work, visit www.billhulseman.com. 

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