The Opinion 2021 Pulitzer Prize Parody Awards — Where All the Winners Are…Not (Part 2)

Honoring certain of the infurious work that the media did over the past year.

[ CLICK Here for the first half of these illustrious media honors.]

We recognize all the foibles and missteps of mainstream media. We chose those who are at the bottom of their field to recognize their efforts to abandon their missions statements, and their hard work in not performing their job.

So here’s the second listing of the various media efforts made throughout the 2020 mutation that was the 2021 Variant, and…congratulations to the…winners…I guess…???

The Sam Adams Committee Honor – This name is in honor of the Confederate newspaperman, who wrote anything to help the cause. Facts are secondary.

WINNER – Chris Cillizza  Chris gave a long performance of giving ardent commentary, even conflicting, to convince America that what was right is true. Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers quarterback, was slammed for saying that he would conduct his own COVID research in a video Chris said then of COVID facts, “Do the research!”Ted Cruz tried to make fun of him by saying that Ted Cruz’s children were being indoctrinated. Cillizza, when telling people to listen to medical professionals, took the position that we should all take COVID lessons. Big Bird. 

Herschel Walker was a former Heisman Trophy Winner. This would be a terrible choiceFor Republicans, his list mirrors the characteristics of Raphael Warnock who was recently elected. After previously criticizing Oregon GOP legislators for their runaway, he finally embraced the traits of Raphael Warnock. saw the Texas Dems flying to DC as “[t]hThe visuals are powerful.”

In his newsletter, Cillizza wrote about Kamala Harris’ magic, as her poll numbers were plunging. Within days, he bemoaned all the people attending college football games in the pandemic — while also raving about how great it was to see them all returning to stadiums. 

This is @ChrisCillizza

Look at how horrible it looks that people are gathering together!

It is amazing to see how many people are coming together!

The – same – weekend pic.twitter.com/rNGV2K4xMF

— Brad Slager – Incontinent On Another Continent (@MartiniShark) September 7, 2021

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

• Brent Lang – Variety  Recently, the motion picture adaptation of one of playwright Andrew Lloyd Webber’s biggest productions became one of Hollywood’s biggest failures. As it turns out, the movie “Cats” was so bad He had to have a therapy dog..  

• Ellen Byron – Wall Street Journal  These are chicken nuggetsWhich is the most in-demand food right now? Jurassic? The Wall Street Journal is diligently on the case of all the developments of fun-shaped, mechanically-extruded, deep-fried chicken paste delectables! This is the Golden Age for dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, according to the WSJ.

• Jackie Alemany – Washington Post  The press was eager to get a report about the First Couple during the Joe Biden government’s fervor. Alemany seemed positively happy with how the First Lady wore something deeply pedestrian but insisted Jill’s look was fashion-forward. The new first lady, Jill Biden, made news last week … for wearing a scrunchie.Sporting floral earrings, a pink coat, a black mask and carrying her own bags of treats and baked goods, it was Biden’s scrunchie that really lit up the Internet.Leave it to a scrunchie to capture the zeitgeist of President Biden’s promise. The journalist also tweeted out how Jill’s look was one of “Radical normalcy.” 

• Riley Black – Slate  On Netflix, the streamer offered up a new low in reality dating shows, where people desperate for attention would…hide their identity. Blind dates were held in disguised college football mascots to reveal the true couple. The show was considered a cultural disaster, so a sequel was created. Slate was a serious fan of this series. This was the time to give the critique that really matters. – the program was It is notThis is a true representation of Furry life.

• WINNER – Various Outlets  Alexandria Ocasio Cortez was the only press present at the The Met gala 2021.They lose their minds in glee as she wore her now infamous “Tax The Rich” gown. Her idiotic statement was made dumber when she declared she wore the getup for the theme of “In America” to highlight immigrant designers, in a dress made by a woman from Toronto who is dating the son of the Seagrams fortune.

Cannot unsee it now… pic.twitter.com/mVCuQNDkU9

— Brad Slager – Incontinent On Another Continent (@MartiniShark) September 16, 2021

Distinguished Editorial Writing

• Tyler Weyant – Politico  Pandemic pandemonium, reports Politico, as plastic portable public powder rooms in Portland are un-plentiful. Of all the COVID disasters, I have to say that this is one of my favorites. This was something we didn’t anticipate.To be an issue. 

• Becky Ferreira – Vice News  We humans, man! Our addictions are causing us to become addicted to hard drugs. A study suggests that the human waste from drug users – and, presumably, dealers flushing their stash during raids – aquatic life can become addicted to the polluting drug residue. This does raise a specter though: With rising food prices, you have to wonder just how high the market price will be for “Meth Trout’” on seafood menus.
• Nathan Bomey – Axios  Taking a stand against corporate malfeasance, Bomey scorched the PR team at Volkswagen for deceptive tactics. “I desperately want to restore trust in journalism. That’s why it’s so critical that we must be able to trust our sources. It is essential that misinformation does not flourish without it. To everyone out there celebrating the fact that VW lied to reporters, including me.” Bomey was so furious because he had reported that the car company changed its name. Volts-Wagen, he had fallen for an April Fool’s prank.
•  Tiffany Cross – MSNBC  Cross, following the lead of Joy Reid’s show, had a doctor discuss high vaccination rates among blacks. The culprit was white supremacists.  “This is another instance of white supremacy’s proliferation. They’re targeting communities of color in particular. And they are targeting the historical injustices, the atrocity, that communities of color have experienced, as a way to play on their vulnerabilities.” Two things are required to make this theory sellable: that black communities follow white racism’s lead, and that white extremists use better messaging than MSNBC and Tiffany Cross. 

• WINNER Grace Cook – New York Times  Cook goes into detail about the terrible effects that tote bags have on our planet. Cotton crops are too water-intensive, bags cannot be recycled and bags made by Chinese workers use slave labor. As she writes: “An organic cotton tote needs to be used 20,000 times to offset its overall impact of production, according to a 2018 study. That equates to daily use for 54 years — for just one bag.” These items are a nightmare for knapsacks, so it is curious that the same newspaper sells so many!

It @NYTimesIt is a terrible thing for the earth that the cotton tote bags are used. They are an environmental drain and promote slave labor.

Also, you can purchase any one of a dozen branded tote bags in the New York Times store.https://t.co/L8bAkTne5Hhttps://t.co/nuvptw5IzG

— Brad Slager – Focused On Lasers (@MartiniShark) August 30, 2021

Distinguished Fact-Checking

• Devon Link – USA Today  Many in the media believe that Dr. Anthony Fauci ought to be called saint, but the truth is that he’s not. The intrepid truth detectors at the nation’s newspaper looked into the family tree of the revered Dr. Fauci and determined that He’s not Mother Theresa’s son. 

• Glenn Kessler – Washington Post  Pete Buttigieg, Transportation Secretary turned heads with his speech about infrastructure. He stated that city planners built racist bridges too low to accommodate buses so minorities could avoid white beaches.  Glenn Kessler defended him by noting the book it was based upon, a biography he called “This is one of the most important nonfiction books ever.” He then had to change his opinionTwo days later, the fact-checker discovered that the book was heavily disputed. 

• Snopes  The revered viscounts of verite’ have become a questionable source – okay, questionable-er – as a result of an internal scandal. David Mikkelson was found to be its co-founder. To have taken content from another sourceSnopes was the victim of his plagiarising. SIXTYContains 100% verified, unquestionably correct pieces.
• Bethania Palmer – Snopes  Following the riot in the Capitol, news came out that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had been in direct danger that fateful day. Soon after the incident, it became clear that Ocasio Cortez had not been directly involved in the violence and had embellished their situation. Snopes rode bravely in To declare that AOC was not in danger even though she was in another building at the time of the fracas Most False 

• WINNER Glenn Kessler – Washington Post  Kessler is struggling to portray a positive image of the President when it comes to verifying statements by Joe Biden. When asked by an audience member whether he’d visited the border since he became President, the worst thing was when Biden replied in the affirmative. His motorcade passed by the Southern border in 2008. It was discovered that he has not been there since 2008 during his campaign visit. Kessler looked at this and determined, “It’s almost like counting a refueling stop as a visit to a country. But it’s enough that we will leave this UNRATED.”

**And now for the BIG award, the recognition of the biggest media performance of the year. Here are the nominations:

Distinguished Public Service

• ‘Ivermectin Follies’ – Rolling Stone  It was this fall that the topic of Ivermectin, a drug used to treat migraines, became very hot. A report was provided by the music magazine On how Oklahoma’s hospitals became so overloaded with Ivermectin poisonings people suffering from gunshot wounds were forced to wait in a parking lot. This story, which was repeated across many news outlets, proved so ridiculous that the outlet published updates two times, making it totally bogus.

• ‘The Cuomo Empire: Season Two – CNN  An entire year was spent tracing the story of Governor Andrew Cuomo’s ongoing feud with his little brother Christopher. The fact that they had both been stripped of their titles culminated in Chris’ firing as the finale to Season 4. This was an endless source of content for binge-watching enjoyment.

• ‘The Handout Fable’ – CNN  In the swelling rapture that was the arrival of Joe Biden, the press felt any and all fawning coverage was appropriate. CNN reported that Joe Biden had taken over the office, and found no distribution system. He had already administered over 21,000,000 vaccines by the time he was sworn-in. Officials, along with Dr. Fauci, disputed this claim. CNN’s story that he claimed he had occupied the office at 9:15 am, however, was proven to be false just before noon.

• ‘Lariats Of Fire’ – Various Outlets  There were countless reports that border agents, riding horseback, whipped poor immigrants into our country of empty milk coolers. Honey shelves on the ground. These reports prompted agencies to sanction the agents. President Biden made a promise to get action and journos denounced how our country has descended into slavery. This is all grave stuff except that the incident never took place.

• WINNER:  ‘The Hour Of DeSantis’ – 60 Minutes  The press has been in a perpetual drive to bring down Florida’s governor, and in equal perpetuity, they have been exposed as partisan hacks in their attempts. CBS News, a revered news source, is responsible for the largest number of these attacks. They claimed that they identified a “pay-for-play” scandal, in which Ron DeSantis received a favor from Publix Supermarkets as he distributed vaccines. That he was making the vaccine available to residents was overlooked, that the stores saw no financial benefit in giving away a shot for free was ignored, and that no actual evidence of the program’s claims was presented was not a consideration. It turned out that the producers were ignorant of facts provided by DemocratOfficials who disputed the charges used recordings to support their story. The story had been so corrupted that it could not be broadcast that Sunday night.