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Tampon Stocks Slide, Millions for a Sexy Ride, and LGBT Parade Canceled by Pride – Opinion

By Pluralist / June 12, 2022

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. Let’s get to the best examples of journalistic failure-excellence in order to properly identify the low watermarks within the media.

 

The Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Alana Semuels – Time Magazine

Joe Biden faces yet another economic crisis. A shortage in feminine hygiene products is becoming a major problem for women, much like the scarcity of baby formula. Time magazine, which is in line with most of the media, has been at the forefront of the story and they want to assign blame. However Joe Biden.

Semuels thinks she has struck on a novel target – men. Sure, let’s blame a tampon shortage on sexism, because men run some of the companies, and the last thing they want to do is have their products available in the marketplace in order to turn a profit, goes this theory.

 

Outstanding Local Reporting

  • Izzy Karpinssky – Fox News 59 Indiana

The risk of getting an STD was a possibility. Richard Kesar, a Shelbyville angler, caught an impressive fish recently. He noticed that the fish had a distended stomach. Once home he was filleting his catch and came upon…er, rather, he discovered something penetrating. The catfish actually swallowed an old sex toy.

 

Distinguished National Reporting

On the topic of STDs, news comes out…er, has been reported that a court ruled insurance giant Geico must pay out a huge sum for a different type of auto accident. Missouri’s woman received a $5.2million settlement in exchange for an episode that might have taken only fifteen minutes. She argued she had contracted HPV from her boyfriend while having sex on the backseat in his car. The court granted her her appeal. It could be called an “earth-moving” violation.

 

Outstanding Local Reporting

Reports have come out that a problem has arisen for the city of Aurora’s LGBT parade, which was schuduled to be staged this weekend. It was an event organizer’s problem, not local authorities. The parade organizers announced in May they wouldn’t allow police to take part in the parade wearing uniforms or carrying weapons. They refused to tolerate police presence at the event, which was intended to encourage inclusion and tolerance.

Parade website stated that the purpose was to feel included and welcomed by everyone. Police were therefore not permitted to join the parade, which means they will not participate. Aurora Police Sergeant Lee Catavu stated that he and his fellow officers who usually march in the parade are opting not to participate this year. This led to organizers not being able to meet safety regulations to hold a parade. The parade was canceled because of it.

 

Distinguished Feature Reporting

  • Adriana Gomez Licon – Associated Press

The Associated Press reported the reaction in Miami to an announcement by a group of investors who have ties with the Democratic party that they would purchase a few Spanish-language radio stations. They gave quotes from a variety of people, but one was particularly interesting.

Martha Flores, who hosts an evening show on Radio Mambi, isn’t sure about that. Although she was present at the news conference, she declined to give a speech.

Problem is, Flores was killed two years prior.

The original publication date of this story is June 9, 2022. This story was revised on June 11, 2022 in order to correct comments that were incorrectly attributed to Martha Flores (former host on Radio Mambi, Miami), one of the stations involved in the deal). Flores passed away in 2020. These comments were made in error by another woman. This story is updated to remove those comments.

The AP does not give any indication of who the misattribution occurred to or how it happened.

 

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  •  Amanda Mull – Atlantic

Although it isn’t obvious how many people look to The Atlantic for information and updates about getting in shape, the outlet provides valuable guidance. Sit-ups are the current focus. It turns out, like a fashion trend, the exercise employed for generations has become passé and has fallen out of fitness fashion.

The sit-up was canceled.

 

Distinguished Reporting On Frozen Desserts (the Joe Biden Honor)

  • Annie Karni, Luke Broadwater – The New York Times

The Times provided a detailed explanation of all the beauty in the hearing that was shown across multiple networks. It made it seem like must-see TV. As we discuss the potential implications of all this for Democrats, we are also treated to the communal and joyful results of the televised events.

“Democrats met with networks to discuss the possibility of carrying the hearing in primetime. Activists have scheduled more than 90 watch events in various states, including a ‘flagship’ event at the Robert A. Taft Memorial and Carillon in Washington, where a large screen will be set up and attendees will get free ice cream.”

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