Stay Home With Your Babies – Opinion

The “working woman” culture has been toxic to motherhood.

It is already obvious that some mothers are expressing rage. You can hear me.

My mom is a Baby Boomer. Her family was a society where mothers stayed home with their children (which is the case in many parts of the globe) and mother’s went to work, while the children were cared for by babysitters. That notion was opposed by her generation. The right to see themselves as partners in providing financial security for their families. They desired the freedom to choose a profession and be successful without having to deal with stereotypical notions about motherhood.

We’re all beneficiaries of that time. I don’t know if I’d be doing this job if it weren’t for that sharp departure from traditional motherhood roles. I’m a liar if I say I don’t appreciate the luxury of deciding how and when my family grows, and how my career fits into that.

Humans are funny. Although we can correct ourselves, without faith and tradition, we will be doomed. Acceptance of the idea that homosexuality is acceptable has led to a bizarre situation where people are forced to assume boys can be girls, and vice versa. Critical race theory has spawned a new form of segregation that the movement for racial equalization has not corrected. The movement to “believe all women” has overcorrected to mean, almost universally (save Johnny Depp, who’s charm seems to elevate him above it all) “never believe a man.”

We now find ourselves in an era where women are no longer able to ask for work from outside their home. Our politicians only talk about how to support women. They don’t ever ask how we might make it easier for women to stay home and raise their families. That notion seemed abandoned by us.

Recently, I spoke to a neighbour, a young, stay-at home mother with four children, and she lamented that her ability as a provider was somewhat lacking. It was her desire to be able to earn some income again. She felt like an essential member of the household. This broke my heart. My generation is stuck in the ever-expanding belief that professional careers are the only way to make a society productive. We tell our girls throughout their entire schooling years that they can be whatever they want – scientists, doctors, engineers, terrible Vice Presidents. There is not a single person they can rely on for authority. Even whispersTo them, they could be mothers who remain at home with their own children.

For women such as my neighbor, we have given them a false sense about their worth. She was only able to see her value in terms of the dollars she brings home, because no one around her has been offering her praise and encouragement for all the sacrifices she’s making to stay home with her family. Everything in our culture…every single thing…is geared towards messaging how we support the working mother, and the single mother, which are naturally often the same thing. The majority of single mothers are strong, courageous and dedicated to their children. In public conversations, married mothers are rare. We are often ridiculed when we do. We’re accused of flaunting our privilege. A married mother is not credited with having the courage to do what she does. What can we do to accept that?

Of course, I explained to my friend that she’s looking at it through a dirty filter. She cannot accompany her husband to the doctor, sports or playdates. He can’t spend all day nurturing them, going to school events, and putting bandages on scrapes. He places his priority on his family. She does what she can at home to make him feel secure and confident enough to go to work to earn money so that he can continue to care for his family. Others may be comfortable with their children being left at home all day. Her husband doesn’t. Her contribution as both a husband and mother could not be greater. To ensure their children’s safety, she sacrifices almost everything in order to have at least one person there who is truly concerned about them.

How about the dads? Can’t they stay home? Sure! Sure! But the concept is still the same. Both he and his wife saw value in helping to make sure that their children didn’t spend their entire youth with someone else.

I don’t write this to shame any woman who doesn’t do the stay-at-home thing. My own mother did not have that opportunity, many women around me don’t. Many choose to do this, while others are forced to work by abuse or betrayal. They are yours, no matter your motives. Nobody loves you more than your children. If you feel you made the right choice, you won’t feel offended by my opining. You’ll understand my point.

And my point is this – ladies, if you can, stay home with your children. The greatest calling is motherhood, and it’s a great vocation. I regret that we allow this chaotic world to diminish the unquestionable benefits of domesticity. You are not a failure if you don’t have a career outside your home. It is actually incredibly courageous to do this exhausting, day-long work. I’m sorry no one ever tells you that these days.

It is not necessary to make this a permanent part of your daily life. This week my son turned twenty-one. From my perspective right now I can say that our time in our family home flew by. It’s impossible to get those first years back with your child. Those little moments that you miss while you’re at an office all day…there are no do-overs. Also, children start school rather quickly, and then you have a lot more freedom to pursue personal interests if that’s your jam. Don’t sacrifice the most precious moments of motherhood for an ideal that is really just an overcorrection of what began as a good premise.

They will appreciate you. They will never say, “I wish my mom was home less.” Never.

As my career progressed, now that my children have grown up, my son shared with me how he loved knowing that I would always be there waiting to welcome him home from school. It was a feeling of safety that he couldn’t quite verbalize as a child.

Do we wish that we had more things? Do you want more vacations? More luxuries? A bigger home? Yes. We’re red-blooded American capitalists, after all!

Is it ever a regret to have those items for the ability to care for our children at home all these years?

Never. You won’t either. Keep your kids home if possible. If you can’t, help us all work towards a world where more women can, and not be shamed as failures for wanting to do so.

Moms that stay home should be given more support and celebration by the society. Young children deserve and need their mothers. Mothering is an incredible and amazing part of human existence.

— Lila Rose (@LilaGraceRose) April 30, 2022