Snail Seers, Mascot Tears, and Christmas Sweater Fears – Opinion

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. We must recognize journalistic mistakes-excellence to be able to correctly identify them.

You won’t believe it, but there were also other media errors this week, besides the Jeff Zucker Follies

The Distinguished Explanatory Report

The University of Nebraska has descended into the woke mascot swamp by issuing the order to redesign the school’s athletic symbol. Herbie Husker is the caricatured image of the Nebraska farmer, replete with a cowboy hat and a pair of overalls emblazoned with a bold letter “N,” clutching a football, with a large ear of corn protruding from his pocket. You may need to sit down if you want to find out the offense.

That hand gesture could, in some circles, represent something that does not represent what Nebraska athletics is about,’ Henrichs said. ‘We just didn’t even want to be associated with portraying anything that somebody might think, you know, that it means white power.

A new mascot has been chosen to represent potential insensitivities. As usual, white supremacists weren’t asked their feelings about this change.

University of Nebraska mascot’s hand gestures revised to avoid connection with white supremacy https://t.co/yh6gDhFYzB pic.twitter.com/8mvcKTH8tv

— The Hill (@thehill) January 31, 2022

Outstanding Local Reporting

• Robert Pandolfino – WFLA Channel 8

Florida likes to add its own twist on things. This week was Groundhog Day. At the Florida Keys Aquarium Encounter in Marathon Key they have a conch live that serves as the tropical counterpart to the Punxsutawney meteorological varmint. Their mollusk came out of its shell and saw its shadow, which — as we all know — means six more weeks of high tide.

Florida ‘Groundhog’ conch sees its shadow https://t.co/H5YiYOkmsQ pic.twitter.com/6mChMSTlRb

— WFLA NEWS (@WFLA) February 2, 2022

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

• Nathaniel Meyersohn — CNN

EDITOR: “Okay, we are going to need some pieces that will distract people from our scandal with Jeff Zucker. C’mon people, what can we run?? Nate — what do you have?!”

MEYERSOHN: Umm, I have that expose’ on the CVS receipts being so long, that you keep spiking.

EDITOR: (after a long blank stare) “Okay, fine – run it. We’ll take anything at this stage…”

The curious case of long CVS receipts https://t.co/lWqfHhJdt1

— Nathaniel Meyersohn (@nmeyersohn) February 1, 2022

International Excellence in Reporting

• Adina Bresge — Globe And Mail

Now we are in the maple-looking window. The Canadian truckers convoy has been impactful and draws huge crowds of support – and the normally protest-enthused press cannot stand it. There has not been a single reported incident of violence taking place, but here we are; we cannot call THIS protest non-violent because something just might…uh, happen…?

Police haven’t reported any physical violence at the ongoing Ottawa rally against vaccine mandates and other government-imposed COVID-19 restrictions, but critics warn that conflating the absence of bloodshed with ‘peaceful’ protest downplays the dangers of the weekend demonstrations.

Now, let’s get to work on your scorecards.

– Dozens of deaths and billions of dollars in damage = NON-VIOLENT

– Truckers honking their horns = VIOLENT

Calling the Ottawa protests ‘peaceful’ downplays non-violent dangers, critics say https://t.co/2emfRa5Jpc

— The Globe and Mail (@globeandmail) January 31, 2022

Distinguished National Reporting

• Pilar Melendez — The Daily Beast

Melendez is working hard to open the case against a New Jersey chief of police who was photographed wearing controversial clothes at Christmas last year. With little hint of shame, Melendez details for us that the chief dared to attend an ugly sweater party, wearing a covering with the ghastly phrase “Let’s Go Brandon”

The best is that the reporter has contacts at the ready on such matters, citing the stern words of — a Christmas sweater expert.

EXCLU: Police Chief Wore ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ Sweater to Christmas Party

Experts and residents were enraged at the embrace of a far-right catchphrase at an “Ugly Sweater Party.”https://t.co/N0uByRg93H via @thedailybeast

— Pilar Melendez (@pbmelendez) February 4, 2022

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

• Rebecca Alter – Vulture

It’s good to know that COVID restrictions are falling and that celebrities have started to come out. This means that PR firms are now able to produce useless news nuggets so that tabloids don’t need to hoover up content. Before the Zucker scandal, it was a very innocent Monday.

There were simple pleasures that we could indulge in, like Rhianna strutting her stuff out in public. Social media was abuzz with photos of the singer, who had her baby bump out for all to see. Over at Vulture, Ms. Alter delves into the vital aspects of this story — like how much would it cost to give the singer free publicity???

It’s not an exclusive or anything, just a Shutterstock download. Being the lazy stylish types we are, I bought just one of the photos from the shoot.

The cost was $1,500