Quidditch Leagues to Change Name Because JK Rowling Isn’t Woke Enough

You’re an adult playing a game adapted from a children’s fantasy book about witches and magic. But you don’t want to be associated with the woman who invented the game in her children’s fantasy book about witches and magic because she’s not willing to indulge in your magic fantasies about human biology.

This truly is the Gold Age of Stupid.

CNN.com reported that the United States has enough people who are directionless and lonely to create two Quidditch Leagues. Yes, Quidditch from J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series. They fly on brooms and are shown in scenes lasting 10-12 hours.

And while it’s nice that people who would otherwise be shut-ins are getting fresh air and exercise, there’s trouble in Hogwarts. US Quidditch (USQ) and Major League Quidditch (MLQ) are going to change their names, “due to trademark issues and concerns over the ‘anti-trans positions’ of the series’ author, J.K. Rowling,” according to CNN.

Warner Bros. trademarks the name “quidditch”, and leagues claim that this has hindered the sport’s growth, with particular emphasis on sponsorship and broadcast opportunities. WarnerMedia includes WarnerBros.

It’s a game where people run around with brooms between their legs and throw volleyballs at goals. It’s not the only thing keeping you from playing with the NFL.

According to the leagues, Rowling’s actions will result in Rowling being “removed from public scrutiny” for anti-transpositions she has taken over the years. Rowling’s heresy is believing the women are women and men who say they’re women aren’t. The otherwise exquisitely liberal author is concerned that the trans fad and it’s demands that the owners of wedding tackle be called women will eventually erase actual women (“people who menstruate,” as woke phrasing would have it). 

Fairness aside, however, quidditch players are able to walk the talk (albeit with their brooms between them).

According to the leagues, real-life Quidditch has been praised for its gender equality and inclusion policies. Each team is limited to four of seven players who are the same gender.

Wow! It sounds great. Those trademark issues definitely are all that stands between us and Monday Night Quidditch, er, BroomBall …

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