Feminist Writer Says She’d Have Sex With Every Single Player on World Series Championship Team

Following the climax of the Major League Baseball season on Wednesday, a feminist writer confessed she’d sleep with the entire roster of the World Series-winning Washington Nationals if given the opportunity.

Megan Reynolds, the managing editor of Jezebel, admitted she doesn’t “know much about baseball” in a post for the feminist blog.

But, she wrote, that wouldn’t stop her from working her “way through [the Nationals] like a bulldozer clearing old-growth forest to make way for a housing development” – especially if the team were presented to her “on a silver platter wearing nothing but the little cups they use to protect their d-cks.”

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“Of all the sports men who are thought to be traditionally hot, baseball players rank low on the list, for reasons that I will never quite understand,” Reynolds averred, before recounting the enticing qualities of athletes in other sports.

“Basketball players are hot because they, generally, dress well and are very tall, like trees that look good and can dunk. Football players are hot for roughly the same reason, except their girth is not vertical but horizontal; football men are large and in charge, made of muscle and brawn and could, if requested, run their defensive line all the way through my end zone,” she declared in the piece, entitled, “I Would Have Sex With an Entire Major League Baseball Team If Given the Opportunity.”

Reynolds revealed her ideal man, however, is someone who knows his way around a bat:

“Baseball players have the most incredible butts—high, round, too big for most pants—which sit on top of their thicc-ass thighs like a beautiful Thanksgiving turkey or a honey-baked ham.”

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Observers who see hypocrisy in the fact that, in the past, Reynolds and her colleagues have forcefully condemned the objectification of women, would be mistaken, according to former Jezebel staff writer Iris Carmon.

Carmon explained in a 2010 blog post for the outlet “Why Shameless Objectification Can Be a Good Thing” when it’s practiced by women.

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