The recent story here on RedState by Jennifer Van Laar detailing the simultaneously ridiculous and heart-rending story of a single mom fighting not only to keep her daughter free from the clutches of an abusive ex-boyfriend but also trying to keep herself out of jail for committing the apparently heinous crime of picking up her daughter from school, came into sharp focus Thursday morning as I spent my early Thanksgiving hours writing a character reference letter for a beloved former coworker and cherished friend now embroiled in an increasingly bitter legal battle with her not-nearly-soon-enough ex. Is it really that bad? After he beat her, she got a restraining oration a few weeks back.
Although there are many things in my life that I’m less thankful for, like working in the San Francisco Bay Area retail store, I am grateful to my friend who is still here. Jennifer, the young lady I wrote about, has an active public advocate for her cause. Something I’d be even more thankful for would be if, from now on, all women did this one thing.
Please, ladies!
This term is derived from an old song by Marillion, an English progressive rock band.
The phrase can be taken as a joke, and is easily used by unselected men to get the girl of their dreams. However, the slogan has a dark side. Men who are authentically nice guys are never the ones running around telling women they’re nice guys. That is a surefire sign they’re passive/aggressive third-rate manipulators, not nice guys. The primary signal of an authentic nice guy is how they treat women with proper respect; not in hopes of being rewarded sexually but because it’s what they’re supposed to do. These guys are seeking the monogamous long-term relationship they believe is desirable for those who have more sex. They get angry when they see the Cretin Of The Month Club’s latest poster boy, a woman who is supposedly intelligent and emotionally stable, going after her.
This has to do with conservatism. Plenty. Assuming one is not of the mindset that conservatism is strictly a set of political/economic policies, instead believing it is also a reflection of Judeo/Christian beliefs regarding preferred human interaction, in raw roots form “do to others as you would have them do to you,” being an actual conservative means treating people right both in general and intimately. Power is knowledge. Knowing the Constitution, the basics of government, Hayek, Hazlitt’s works, and knowing how they work are just a few of the many benefits of being conservatives. However, it is also important to be knowledgeable about human nature and avoid getting entangled with those who want to destroy and dominate the people that love you. Seeking affirmation or fulfillment in relationships alone is chasing after fool’s gold. It is childish to look at others while imagining a Mr./Miss Right that will satisfy all your fantasies.
Indeed, those searching for a soulmate shouldn’t date everyone who asks. However, they also shouldn’t grab onto someone for whom they need to make excuses. Get out if this is true. This person will never be saved by you. It will be a disaster if you try.
Everybody makes mistakes in relationships. We don’t have to repeat them.
Ladies, turn off the built-in radar for bastards.
PS. This does not stem from any part of my life. At least not in the past 38 years, which is how long I’ve been married.
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