Jimmy Kimmel was having a difficult time understanding the Republican Sens’ motivations on Wednesday at ABC. Ted Cruz and Marsha Schwarzburn asked Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Jackson about the definition of woman. Kimmel resorted to personal attacks to defend Jackson, but only ended up making himself the butt of the joke as he also couldn’t come up with a definition.
Kimmel began by lamenting “[Jackson] said the fact that she was even nominated shows how far we’ve come as a country, and so some of the Republican senators on the committee have been hard at work to show how far we haven’t.” Eventually, Kimmel would try to make it seem as if Blackburn was the one who was clues on what constitutes a woman, “The award for most original question of the week so far goes to Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, who is the only Republican woman on the Judiciary Committee. And yet is still trying to figure out what that word means.”
After playing the video of Blackburn and Jackson going back and forth on the issue with Jackson pleading ignorance because she’s not a biologist, Kimmel returned to attempt to answer the question, “Hold on. You know the answer. You are an awful woman. Is that–?”
No, Jimmy, it isn’t. Not deterred by his own ignorance, Kimmel turned his ire to Cruz, “And then, of course, Cancun Cruz had to get in on the action. He loves talking at these things and he really wants to know what a woman is too.”
After playing a clip of Cruz telling Jackson she is the only Supreme Court nominee in history who couldn’t answer that simple question, Kimmel retorted, “Yeah, she’s also the only one in history who’s been asked that disgusting question.”
Kimmel then teed up another clip of Cruz, “Sweaty Teddy then took some time to pose an important philosophical question that has many wondering if we might see him in a parade sometime soon.”
This clip showed Cruz showing that the question isn’t simply trolling, but has actual judicial implications, “Under the modern leftist sensibilities, if—if– I decide right now that I’m a woman, then apparently I’m a woman. Does that mean that I would have Article 3 standing to challenge a gender-based restriction?”
This naturally went over Kimmel’s head as he resorted to more name calling, “No, it means you’d be the world’s ugliest woman… What a slug of a human being. I mean, this poor lady had to sit there and listen to this pontificating from a man who wipes back to front.”
But, even if Ted Cruz would be the world’s ugliest woman, he would still be a woman according to the left’s gender logic.
On other late night programming, James Corden joked about the lack of bipartisanship, “We’ve gone from ‘Let’s put a man on the moon within the decade’ to ‘Maybe someday we can get at least one Republican to vote for a qualified woman.’” Jimmy Fallon, meanwhile, quipped that President Biden would like some of Jackson’s high poll numbers for himself. Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers have the week off.
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The transcript of the show, March 23, is available here:
ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live
3/23/2022
11.38 pm ET
JIMMY KIMMEL: The award for most original question of the week so far goes to Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, who is the only Republican woman on the Judiciary Committee. And yet is still trying to figure out what that word means.
MARSHA BLACKBURN: Can you provide a definition for the word “woman”?
KETANJI BROWN JACKSON: Can I provide a definition?
BLACKBURN: Uh-huh, yeah.
JACKSON :
BLACKBURN: You can’t?
JACKSON: Not in this context, I’m not a biologist.
BLACKBURN: So, you believe the meaning of the word “woman” is so unclear and controversial that you can’t give me a definition?
KIMMEL: Keep going. The answer is in my hands. You are an awful woman. What do you think? And then, of course, Cancun Cruz had to get in on the action. He loves talking at these things and he really wants to know what a woman is too.
TED CRUZ: You couldn’t define what a woman is, that you were not a biologist, which—which– I think you’re the—the– only Supreme Court nominee in history who’s been unable to answer the question, what is a woman?
KIMMEL: Yeah, she’s also the only one in history who’s been asked that disgusting question. Sweaty Teddy then took some time to pose an important philosophical question that has many wondering if we might see him in a parade sometime soon.
CRUZ: Under the modern leftist sensibilities, if—if– I decide right now that I’m a woman, then apparently I’m a woman. Does that mean that I would have Article 3 standing to challenge a gender-based restriction?
KIMMEL: No, it means you’d be the world’s ugliest woman. You would become a woman. This man is a complete slug. I mean, this poor lady had to sit there and listen to this pontificating from a man who wipes back to front. Guillermo, did you know this?
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