Franken Warns Against ‘Existential Threats’ Including Ted Cruz Being ‘A D***’

An ex-Democratic senator Saturday Night Live cast member Al Franken guest hosted ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live On Tuesday, it was as successful as any one could have predicted. During his opening monologue, Franken rattled off a list of supposed threats to democracy including “just how big a dick Ted Cruz is” while later he turned the show into a Democratic commercial during an interview with Rep. Katie Porter.

After declaring that the erroneously named Inflation Reduction Act is the biggest investment in the climate ever, Franken thought that, as a former senator, “I really should talk about some of the other existential threats facing our nation. The enormous gaps in wealth and income. Our democracy is at risk. But I really that think one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a dick Ted Cruz is.”

 

 

After the clapter from the liberal audience subsided, Franken continued, “Now, I’ve said it before, but I probably liked Ted Cruz more than most of my colleagues liked Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz is a horrible person. Now, Ted Cruz is probably one of the most famous senators, because as I mentioned, he’s a huge dick.”

Franken later invited Porter onto the show to speak about the IRA. He chose Porter because, like him, Porter is a comedian who loves to turn politics into entertainment.

Describing the IRA as “huge,” Franken invited Porter to “Let’s talk about what’s in that package. Of course there’s the climate part, which is, you know — it’s been hot lately.”

Porter described the circumstances as “it’s life or death,” a sentiment Franken repeated as she continued, “I mean, if we don’t do something, Orange County is going to feel like Las Vegas and that would be the end world for people in Orange County. We’re a soft people.”

Franken switched the discussion to Medicare and the Pharmaceutical Industry. After running through all talking points in favor of the IRA, Porter added “It’s also about standing up to corporate special interests.”

Turning the show into a campaign ad, Franken then asked, “Well, how many — when you say Congress stood up to the pharmaceutical industry, how many Republicans voted in the Senate and the House? Zero?… So, who’s standing up for the American people?”

Naturally , the Inflation Reduction Act won’t reduce inflation, but it will hire 87,000 new IRS agents that Porter claims are for customer service and continue runaway spending.

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The August 16, 2008 broadcast transcript is available here:

ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live

8/16/2022

11.37 pm ET

AL FRANKEN: While I’m here, I really should talk about some of the other existential threats facing our nation. The enormous gaps in wealth and income. Our democracy is at risk. But I really that think one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a dick Ted Cruz is.

Now, I’ve said it before, but I probably liked Ted Cruz more than most of my colleagues liked Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz is a horrible person. Now, Ted Cruz is probably one of the most famous senators, because as I mentioned, he’s a huge dick.

12:00 AM ET

Franken: Yes, it is. It is huge. Let’s talk about what’s in that package. Of course there’s the climate part, which is, you know — it’s been hot lately. 

KATIE PORTER – It is life and death. 

FRANKEN – It is life and death. 

PORTER: I mean, if we don’t do something, Orange County is going to feel like Las Vegas and that would be the end world for people in Orange County. We are soft.

FRANKEN: And there’s also — what’s — talk about some of the other parts. Like Medicare being able to negotiate pharmaceuticals. 

PORTER: This is going to save seniors money on their drugs, but it’s going to save taxpayer money. 

FRANKEN: Yes.

PORTER: Money I hope we plow back into the research and development of new drugs, expanding coverage for people, and making our health care system work better for everyone involved. So—

FRANKEN: Oh, that. 

PORTER — This is huge. Big. You—you– also know, it’s a huge deal that Congress stood up to Big Pharma. Big Pharma got this big price negotiation in the dark of the night. It never should have happened and it has taken us how many years to get it set back? This is what it really comes down to, and that’s Medicare. It’s about prescription drug prices. It’s also about standing up to corporate special interests.

FRANKEN: Well, how many — when you say Congress stood up to the pharmaceutical industry, how many Republicans voted in the Senate and the House? Zero? 

PORTER: Yup.

FRANKEN: So, who’s standing up for the American people? Oh. 

PORTER: Yeah. Some of us. Some of us. But, let me tell you. Big Pharma has had a grip on both sides of the aisle. 

FRANKE: Yup.

PORTER: And we’ve had pharma hearings, both Democrats and Republicans. The night before the hearing they’re out at mixers and taking money from Big Pharma, the next day they’re supposed to hold them accountable? 

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