A less than well-endowed man wrote into an advice column after having second-thoughts about allowing his wife to sleep with a “bigger” man.
In a letter to Slate’s “How to Do It” column published Monday, the 43-year-old advice seeker described the sexual ups and downs of life with his 41-year-old wife.
“We enjoyed ourselves the first few years. After that, she seemed to lose interest. I think she had a few real orgasms, but mainly faked them,” he wrote.
“I’m about 3.5 inches erect, and I tend to ejaculate quickly,” he revealed.
His self-professed inadequacies prompted an unconventional proposal to his spouse:
“I told her about bigger men, since she really had no idea, and said she could try another man, since I had 13 to 15 sex partners before we were married and she had none,” the man wrote.
He confessed to wavering at times, feeling “insecure and jealous,” but unfortunately the cat was out of the bag.
During one of his “more permissive times,” he said his wife “met a man and liked him.”
Even though he has since “tried to call it off,” his wife wants to move forward with having sex with her well-endowed prospective lover.
The situation has the advice seeker in something of a pickle.
“Should I let this happen? I’m afraid he will be much bigger and she’ll enjoy him better, and I don’t want to lose her, as I love her. She says she will keep him on the side just for the physical thing. And she will not leave our kids and me, as that guy also has kids and a wife. I’m not sure what to do,” he queried.
Slate writer Rich Juzwiak shamed the man for dangling “carrots” at his wife.
“You introduced the idea of your wife sleeping with someone else, she liked it, and now she wants to make it real. It’s pretty hard to delete someone’s desire, and it’s borderline sh-tty to try to do that to desire you helped cultivate. Don’t dangle carrots at your wife; she’s not a rabbit,” Juzwiak wrote.
Still, Juzwiak wasn’t completely unsympathetic to the man’s side of things, saying he was “allowed” to change his mind.
“An open relationship is a large concept that isn’t always immediately graspable; it can be a perpetual process of trial and error. It’s not a good sign if you have misgivings about your wife sleeping with another man before it’s even happened. If it’s vexing you in the abstract, it may positively haunt you if it actually happens,” he wrote.
Juzwiak offered words of encouragement in the event the “other guy” was able to sexually satisfy the man’s wife better than he could.
“Plenty of people find it easy to keep sex buddies without love entering the picture and interfering with their primary relationship,” he wrote.
Juzwiak also suggested “a three-way or some other scenario” in which the man could be present for his wife’s “extracurricular banging.”