Rep. Cori (D-MO), a vocal advocate for sexual assault, presented a poster to Congress in order to raise awareness about victim-blaming of those who have been subject to rape or other abuse. Although her argument against victim-blaming is well founded, it seems that she has missed the point.
As she addressed Congress, she stated:
We’re tired of being told that if we had just done this or done that, it wouldn’t have happened to us. We’re tired of being told to feel guilty about what we wore or what we said.
St. Louis and me rise to end victim blaming.
To every survivor of sexual violence: Know that no matter how hard the media, your peers, your family, or others may try to make you feel that what happened to you was your fault — it was not.
Believe survivors. pic.twitter.com/CYJUdsD7Mw
— Congresswoman Cori Bush (@RepCori) November 2, 2021
While standing next to a poster which was titled: “Tips to not commit sexual assault from a survivor,” the lawmaker made a tongue-in-cheek argument that it is the responsibility of the perpetrators to prevent themselves from committing sexual assault. She stated:
If you’re thinking about putting drugs in someone’s drink, don’t. If you can’t keep yourself from committing sexual assault, always have a trusted friend by your side to stop you from committing sexual assault. Don’t commit sexual assault on someone you meet while they are unconscious, drunk, or asleep.
Bush has previously shared her story of being raped in church camps as a teenager. Interview with Vanity FairShe said that:
I didn’t see that as rape. I felt like I did something — I did something wrong. I didn’t fight him back. I didn’t even know what was going on, but I didn’t fight him back, I didn’t tell him stop, I didn’t say no. He did what he wanted, and I just sat there. I now know that enthusiasm is consent. If there’s enthusiasm then there is consent, and on my part, there was absolutely no enthusiasm. It was fear.
Bush discovered that she was actually pregnant not long after her encounter. She later got an abortion, which she described as “the hardest decision I had ever made” during a House Oversight and Reform Committee hearing. “But at 18-years-old, I knew it was the right decision for me.”
Bush’s point about victim-blaming is not wrong – however, it does not take into account the fact that while sexual predators are not going to take measures to stop themselves from assaulting women, there are things that people can do to protect themselves. These discussions can sometimes be misinterpreted as victim-blaming, when in reality they’re trying to prevent such situations from happening.
I’m not referring to not wearing short skirts. This does not give women the right to rape them, nor do they have to be embarrassed about their choices of clothes. Women understand they must take steps to reduce the chance of being in this situation.
Young women should be warned not to travel alone, or avoid certain men. It is possible to hold two truths at once. Women need to take every precaution necessary for their protection These victims should not blame the attacker for their inaction.
You can also apply this principle to other situations.
If I’m out and about, I have a general sense of which places in my city are more dangerous, and I avoid traveling there. I also realize that even though I take precautions, I can’t control what other people do, but I can control myself. If someone wishes to assault me, I can’t control his mindset. If he does decide to assault me, however, I can choose to have a weapon that I can use or make him think twice.
Do women such as Bush or others need to be careful just to enjoy a time with their friends? No. Do I have to own a gun to protect my self? No.
But we don’t live in a world that does what it “should” do. We live in reality – which means other people are not going to behave in the way they ought to. If they have the opportunity, sexual predators will often rape women. This is why women need to be cautious and take every precaution possible. It’s not the way it should be, but it is the way it is.
We should not be critical of those who blame victims. However, it is important to recognize that encouraging women to take the necessary steps to safeguard themselves from harming their bodies and reputations does not equal victim-blaming. Recognizing the truth of what is happening in the world around us and working towards changing it is a smart decision.
About Post Author
