Stephen Colbert, late night liberal host, ridiculed Thursday’s Supreme Court as being less trustworthy than CNN during an argument over abortion.
He was the first to open The Late Show noting every news outlet was talking about the court’s oral arguments on Mississippi’s proposed 15-week abortion ban. But he mocked CNN as an unserious news organization: “CNN was all over the story this morning with their top headline: ‘The Masked Singer’ reveals who’s behind the skunk,” he joked. But CNN was still worthy of more respect than The Supreme Court, he stated.
“We also heard from a slightly less trusted body: The Supreme Court,”He snorted.
The talk show host went on to attack each of the right-leaning justices’ oral arguments while praising left-leaning Sonia Sotomayor’s dramatics defending abortion rights.
He compared Chief Justice John Roberts to an “auctioneer” for questioning why 15-weeks gestation wasn’t sufficient if abortion was only up to the mother’s “choice.” But he was harsher on the Trump-appointed justices.
Suggesting Thomas was an idiot, he mocked, “Clarence Thomas seemed confused about what they’re talking about at all.”
Colbert then gave a brief glimpse of Thomas to Colbert, in which he pointed out the fact that abortion rights do not appear in the Constitution. Colbert then argued that the justice wasn’t too clear:
It’s his responsibility to interpret the Constitution. Clarence Thomas would be a great teacher in lit classes. When we talk about an “Animal Farm”, I think we mean a group of animals living on a farm. It’s that simple. The Russian Revolution is not mentioned. Let’s move on to “Fahrenheit 451,” my favourite book about fire safety. ( Laughter
This is partly due to the difference in opinion between right and left. Leftists believe that the Constitution should be continuously reinterpreted so it can adapt to current politics. Right argues the contrary. A late-night comedian suggesting that he is more knowledgeable about the Constitution than the Supreme Court Justice, however, is arrogance at its best.
Colbert also attacked Amy Coney Barrett for noting that “safe haven laws” eliminate the burden of financial responsibility on pregnant women who feel like they can’t take care of a child.
This puts a dent in pro-abortion arguments, however Colbert attempted to label Barrett ignorant.
“One argument supporting Roe is that a woman’s right to choose is directly linked to her access to economic opportunity. Justice Amy Coney Barrett thinks that it doesn’t really matter., thanks to what are called ‘Safe haven laws,’” he griped.
“Amy Coney Barrett believes that a woman doesn’t have to be a parent, rather she feels she must give birth. You can find all the details in her pregnancy guide. How to prepare for what you are being told to expect, He laughed, then took a dig at the justice by comparing bodily autonomy arguments with forced vaccine requirements.
He praised liberals at the court, even though he thought the justices of the right were stupid and cruel.
COLBERT – Of course the liberal justices weren’t buying any of it. Sonia Sotomayor (justice) pointed out that no fundamental questions have changed in the past upholding Roe by the court. Mississippi claimed that the purpose of bringing this matter now was to have it before all of these Republican appointees. Given these facts, she asked the following question:
SONIA SOTOMAYOR – Will the institution survive?
Kavanaugh didn’t escape his ire. Colbert made an inane joke at the expense of justice.
“It’s a valid question, though that stench might just be Brett Kavanaugh’s beer sweats, (laughter) or shall we say, boof burps,” He laughed.
Colbert had begun to discredit the image of conservative justices a few months back. He bizarrely told liberal justice Stephen Breyer on his show in September that the Trump-appointed justices were illegitimate because President Trump didn’t win the popular vote in the 2016 election. As NewsBusters’ Associate Editor Kyle Drennen pointed out at the time, by Colbert’s own absurd logic, even the left’s beloved late justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg shouldn’t have been on the court then, because President Clinton didn’t win the popular vote in the 1992 election.
The comedian used this same same cherry-picked example to end his pro-abortion screed on Thursday’s show. He also complained that because one ABC News/Washington Post poll showed a majority of Americans supporting the court upholding Roe, it meant the court was going against what the majority of Americans want: “While I won’t get into technical details, let me just say that we, what is the word, don’t live under a democratic system.” He groaned.
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Below is the transcription
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
12/3/21
STEPHEN COLLBERT: You’ve probably seen the news about yesterday’s historical arguments of our highest judges. There was stench, recriminations. CNN covered the story with the headline “The masked sing” which revealed who was behind the skunk. ( Laughter.) CNN thanks you for all your hard work in reporting about a woman’s freedom to wear a huge rodent costume and sing, “I’ll miss you.” ( Laughter.) It was Faith Evans. Her memory will always be in our hearts. ( Laughter.) The Supreme Court was another less respected body. (Laughter. The justices heard oral argument about the Mississippi abortion ban. According to court watchers and other sources, it seems that Roe V. Wade is being overturned by the Supreme Court. ( Booing) Okay, everyone, you know that oral arguments are not something to be taken too seriously. So, we don’t know ultimately what’s going to happen, other than we definitely know, cause based on what we heard from the justices, it’s looking rough for Roe. As one expert in legal matters put it,
SCOOBY DOO – Ruhroe. (Laughter
JOHN ROBERT: Chief Justice John Roberts has been seen as the swing vote in this matter and is determined not to turn the Supreme Court into a party-only institution. Roberts is now trying to justify Mississippi’s 15 week ban, without overturning its precedent of 24 weeks.
JOHN ROBERTS. Why is 15 weeks a bad line to follow? Viability doesn’t seem to have to do with freedom of choice, so viability seems inexorable. If viability is really about choosing, then why are 15 weeks so short?
COLBERT: It was 24 now, maybe 15. Is Roberts Chief Justice or chief auctioneer. You hear me every day for 24 weeks. Can I get 15? What if I have 15? Do you hear 6 from Texas? You go once and you return twice. It’s like a sale to your boyfriend. Roberts was a bit confused about the timeline. Clarence Thomas appeared confused by what they were discussing.
CLARENCE THOMAS – I get that you are talking about abortion, but it is still confusing because if we were referring to the Second Amendment, we would know what we mean. The Fourth Amendment is the one I’m referring to. It’s in there, and it’s what it says. Which is it that we are referring to?
[laughter]
COLBERT – He understands that it is his responsibility to interpret the Constitution. Clarence Thomas would be a great teacher in lit classes. When we talk about an “Animal Farm”, I think we mean a group of animals living on a farm. It’s that simple. The Russian Revolution is not mentioned. Let’s move on to “Fahrenheit 451,” my favourite book about fire safety. ( Laughter
Roe’s support is based on the argument that a woman’s freedom to choose is linked to her ability to access economic opportunities. Justice Amy Coney Barrett thinks that this doesn’t matter any more, because there are “Safe Haven laws” that all 50 states have that permit mothers to abdicate all parental responsibilities upon their birth.
AMY CONEY BARRRETT: Roe and Casey stress the difficulties of parenting. While you, along with many others, focus on how forced parenthood could hinder women’s access and equal opportunity, the article also addresses the effects of parental responsibility and obligations that come from motherhood. What’s the point of safe-haven laws?
COLBERT Her new pregnancy guide explains everything: “What you can expect when forced to become pregnant.”Barrett conceded, however, that compulsory pregnancy could be problematic, but that is not what she sees as a problem.
BARRETT – There’s a clear infringement of bodily autonomy that we can have in other settings, such as vaccines. (boos)
COLBERT Covid is contagious so vaccines are required. Nobody says you can’t put a cover on your stomach. I do not want to have a baby. (laughter)
This was not the case, however. Sonia Sotomayor in particular, pointed out that no fundamental questions have changed following the court’s upholding Roe. Mississippi claimed that the purpose of bringing this matter now was to have it before all of these Republican appointees. Given these facts, she asked the following question:
SONIA SOTOMAYOR. Will this institution survive the stench of forced sterilization?
COLBERT
( Laughter
It is unlikely that Roe will be overturned by the courts. An ABC News/ Washington Post/Papa John’s triple-bagel pizza survey found that 60% supported Roe and 27% opposed it. It’s more that 2 to 1. It’s more than 2 to 1. Okay, so I won’t get technical but we, what’s that word?, don’t live within a democracy.The presidents of five of the nine justices appointed them, with the three remaining confirmed by the Republican Senate. These senators now account for 41 million more Americans than the Democrats. In reality, Republican senators aren’t representing a majority US population since 1996. A lot has happened since 1996. Mel Gibson was the best director and Kevin Spacey won the Oscar for best support actor back then. ( Laughter ) And the Republicans have their nominees:”Gibson/Spacey 2024, still better than Ted Cruz.”