Climate Change Warriors Order You to Prevent the Apocalypse — by Flattening Your Neighbor’s Tires – Opinion

If you’re a wreck over inevitable climate catastrophe, rest easy: An activist group has come upon a way to extricate existence.

As posted to social media, environmental organization Adbusters is challenging America’s ecologically conscious to grab the apocalypse by the ego and deflate it.

We can save Mother Earth from the ravaging effects of spinning rocks.

According to Twitter thread, here’s how to reconfigure Creation’s fate…

Before you begin, find someone’s SUV…

• Your first stepPut a bit of gravel into the tire valve.
• The second step:To let them know, place a leaflet in the dash.
• Second StepTake a walk.

How did you know that saving the humanity was so easy? A third of the work consists simply of leaving the scene.

“This is a gentle escalation of methods to drive the urgency of this climate crisis home and engender a systemic aversion to SUVs,” a tweet explains.

There is still time for SUVs to be fixed.

They are the second-largest contributors to global CO2 emissions growth since 2010.

This gentle increase in the number of ways to make this urgent climate crisis a reality will lead to a systemic fear of SUVs. pic.twitter.com/aoxLfZpjUt

— Adbusters (@Adbusters) April 6, 2022

As for the flyer — which you’ll need to print — here’s how it reads:

It isn’t personal.

The climate crisis is being exacerbated by SUVs. They’re the 2nd-largest contributor to increasing global CO2 emissions since 2010.

And they’re totally unecessary [sic].

Climate crisis spiralling [sic]It is difficult to control the situation and it becomes imperative that you take drastic measures.
So we deflated your tires.

If you need to, walk, cycle, or take transit,
But it’s time to end our reliance on these gas-guzzling behemoths.

Wild animals are
The Third Force

I’m far from educated on the subject, but if my basic understanding is correct: They’d have an excellent idea, were Earth the size of a small neighborhood. It would be great if all the people living in densely populated areas drove sport utility vehicles. These machines could be the only catalyst of mass deaths that was fast approaching. If they were the sole catalysts of mass death, who would mind crimes against them?

But if everybody drove SUVs then there would be no stopping them.

However, it is possible to be confused.

Adbusters may just need to convince everyone from every U.S. suburb.

If those internal-combustion grievances can get aired out, perhaps it’s all that’ll be required — except for eliminating other primary pollutants among 350 million Americans.

But if they can check that off the list, then perchance all that’s left is convincing Asia to call it quits on industrialization. The only thing that will be required is for the Adbusters to become more widespread throughout China and claim power over 1000,000,000+ people.

From there, it’s just a hop, skip and jump to indoctrinating India — that population is a paltry one-billion-plus, too.

Once Adbusters has upended all of Asia — a neighborhood of not even five billion — success might well be within reach. Especially if they can add the perfect compliance of the planet’s two billion or so stragglers.

Good luck to all those who are attempting to reach the international level of scientific salvation. However, Steps 1 through 3 stateside are not recommended. Many Americans who drive big trucks own guns.

Perhaps that’s why Adbusters is aiming its tired tactics toward the less blue-collar sort.

New York Post

The group…told its followers to “start by targeting wealthy areas — our goal isn’t to disrupt workers — and avoid targeting vehicles with disabled stickers or hangers.”

It sounds as if they believe wealthy people don’t work. What is the secret to their success?

Regardless, it’s reportedly time to start the revolution. The Adbusters website describes it as:

We are rapidly moving towards ecological disaster. Luxurious emissions should be eliminated immediately. No more polite questions.

One SUV at a time, let’s get this kind of doomsday machinery off the streets for good.

Tyre Extinguishers can be reached at

Can such a well-thought out plan actually work? The tweets were sent by at most one person. So I’d give them at least a one-in-eight-billion chance.

-ALEX

****For online fact-checkers and other agents of assessment: This article contains sarcasm. I wholly condemn meddling with someone’s automobile and/or infiltrating international centers of power.

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