WARNING: Jon Stewart employed explicit language during his comedy.
On March 17’s edition of Jon Stewart: The ProblemAs he pointed out the perverse incentives and outdated use ratings, Steward set his sights upon the media. And to make this point, Steward focused on how the media was addicted to the largest story of the Trump presidency: Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into the 2016 election, aka the Russia collusion hoax.
Stewart started with criticisms of Fox News. He was primarily critical of other media that presented themselves as world-saving heroes, but he did not criticize the clowns.
“[T]According to the fourth estate, they claim that they can stand by America in peril as a shield against growing fascism. Our media, they are the watchers on the wall,”He laughed. But after playing a clip of CNN’s Don Lemon busting out of a cake on New Year’s Eve (possibly drunk), he lamented: “Well America, it’s been a pleasure. We’re fucked.”
Stewart felt if our media, as it currently stands, was what stood “between America and chaos, we are in trouble.” He deduced that the media was an “institution” that has a massive “distance between its aspirations and its execution.”
“The media keeps informing us how incredibly important they are to our survival,”He stated. “But when given crucial informational tasks, they instead build us prisons of what the fuck are you people talking about?”
To show just how detached the media were from reality, he detailed how they reported on the Mueller probe.
After showing clips of the media treating Mueller like a “child of prophecy,” as Stewart described it, he decried how they were “overblowing and elevating the stakes of every moment!” This inevitably devolved into every little thing becoming a “bombshell” development. “Bombshell, hungry people like food. Bombshell. I also have a question: do you think we are fucking stupid,”He wanted to know.
“That’s the responsible, measured way they handled something they actually knew. And then it started getting weird,” he said as the torrent of “if true” speculation began to flow. “There were so many ‘if trues’ in there it was like a high-stakes tarot reading.”
Adding: “But ultimately after two years of speculation and innuendo and flat-out bullshit, they were sure of one thing,” the walls were closing in.
Keeping things in the gutter, Stewart described how the media spent “two years of just edging themselves to a Mueller climax” before the report was released. And he proclaimed the only winner in the investigation was “Satan”:
Your motherfucker has spent the past two years exploding bombshells and creating explosive explosions, and now you are ready to present the season finale. A noose-tightened, closed-walled, family-style jail-gasm.All we received was a book report which we were forced to produce ourselves. The producers of Lost owe me an apology. This was by far the worst ending.
“And the craziest part is, throughout the entire time, great reporters were doing impressive work, but you wouldn’t know it because it was all smothered in so much news cum,” he sneered. “And if anything is going to kill our democracy, it’s gonna be news cum.”
And before going his panel discussion, which included Chris Stirewalt, Sean McLaughlin, and Soledad O’Brien, Stewart used some stitched together clips to show why the media do what they do in their own words (see tweet):
This little bit of truth was also shared by him about the motives behind media. pic.twitter.com/yEPdJW3jAu
— Nicholas Fondacaro (@NickFondacaro) March 24, 2022
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