Kimmel Jokes Trump Jr. Is Crack Addict as He’d ‘Snort…Powdered Sugar’ at Dunkin’

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel continued into Thursday’s show with his never-ending obsession with the Trump family as what he seems to believe as the lone source of jokes on planet Earth, quipping that Donald Trump Jr. has been such a failure in life that he’s actually a cocaine addict who “couldn’t run a Dunkin’ Donuts” and, if he did, “on the first day, he’d snort all the powdered sugar and get his head stuck in the macchiato machine.”

Kimmel raised the subject of Trump Jr. New presidential polling for 2024From Politico and Morning Consult that cited the former First Son and Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL) as “two favorites to win the GOP nomination”If Donald Trump is elected, it will mean that a bid for retaking the White House can’t be made.

“I love that. Don Jr. couldn’t run a Dunkin’ Donuts,” said Kimmel to the delight of the far-left audience, adding said line about being a cocaine addict who’d “snort…the powdered sugar.”

Kimmel, of course, was obviously the source of the absurdity. Hunter Biden, a crack addict was the one I kissedReturned on April 8, 2020.

Kimmel did not stop at a fake campaign spot, but continued to be painfully funny: “He’s going to be the president? However, he doesn’t seem to take the task seriously. And say what you want about DJTJ, this is a young man who believes in himself.”

Kimmel finally moved on, but not before saying to (supposed) laughter form audience members that “it would almost be worth it for Don Jr. to become president just to see Trump not show up at his own son’s inauguration, right?”

Prior to mentioning Trump Jr., Kimmel brought up the poll’s finding that “46 percent say they would back a generic Republican” over President Biden even though “[t]he only problem is there are no generic Republican candidates anymore” because “[t]hey’ve been chased off by strippers with machine guns who wear glasses to pretend they can read.”

This is meant to be funny.

Here’s no more line that was allegedly hilarious: “But Republicans are looking for new blood. Unfortunately, Rudy Giuliani keeps drinking it.”

Kimmel’s unfunny jokes and smears about Trump Jr. and tens of millions of GOP voters were made possible thanks to the endorsement of advertisers such as Allstate, McDonald’s, Nissan, and Starbucks. Follow the links to see their contact information at the MRC’s Conservatives Fight Back page.

To see the relevant ABC transcript from January 27, click “expand.”

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live
January 27, 2022
Eastern: 11:39

JIMMY KIMEL: The speculation over who will take the White House in January 2025 is already underway and it’s not looking good for either Joe Biden nor Donald Trump. A new Poll from Politico shows that more Americans will vote for generic Republican candidates than President Joe Biden. While 46 percent said they would vote for a generic Republican, only 37 percent said that Joe would be their choice. There aren’t any generic Republican candidates. [LAUGHTER]These women were chased away by machine gun-wielding strippers who wear glasses pretending to be able to read. [LAUGHTER]Republicans need new blood. Unfortunately, Rudy Giuliani keeps drinking it. [LAUGHTER]Good news is that Joe Biden, when he faces Donald Trump in a matchup, leads by one point. He’s leading at 46 percent to 45 per cent. It was also shown that Biden would defeat Ron DeSantis and Mike Pence. Are these polls too premature? It’s three years before the next election. Trump will be either in prison by then or an emperor. [LAUGHTER] We — one or the other. If Trump does not run for office in 2024 there will be two candidates to take the nomination. According to the poll, Ron DeSantis is the favorite and Don Jr. the second. [LAUGHTER]It’s a wonderful idea. Don Jr. couldn’t run a Dunkin’ Donuts. [LAUGHTER] Don — on the first day, he’d snort all the powdered sugar and get his head stuck in the macchiato machine. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]What is his plan to serve as president? However, he doesn’t seem to take the presidency seriously. DJTJ can be described as a young man that believes in himself. 

ANNOUNCER – America is looking for a new type of leader. 

DONALD TRUMP, JR. Joe Biden stands between us and a nuclear-capable China.

ANNOUNCER: He’s qualified

TRUMP JR.: I’m the son of the President of the United States. 

ANNOUNCER 

TRUMP JR. : Why didn’t Elon Musk start a social media site? 

ANNOUNCER 

TRUMP JR. 

ANNOUNCER : A mind for business. 

TRUMP JR. 

ANNOUNCER 

TRUMP JR. 

OR to extend kindness and love to his followers. 

TRUMP JR. Jacob told me from her incredible fiancée, Rebecca that she passed the P.E. exam.

[TRUMP JR. SHOOTING A GUN]

ANNOUNCER 

TRUMP, JR. [on 01/06/21]: It is possible to be either a hero and/or a zero. 

FAKE Donald Trump Jr. [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

KIMMEL : That’s great, I tell you. It would be almost worth it for Don Jr., to run for president, to not see Trump at his son’s inauguration. [LAUGHTER]