The debate over vaccine mandates has brought up the endless debate about whether or not it’s okay to force people to do the “right” thing. It’s not just an endless debate, it’s an endlessly pointless debate.
No. It’s not okay to fore people to do what you think is the right thing. We do have laws that prosecute people who don’t do the right thing, like murdering or stealing. Forcing people to do the right thing will only ever make things worse…like communism levels of worse.
You have to accept that you can’t force people to make the right choices. It is possible to incentivize and inspire people, or even provide assistance. When the need arises, everyone must have full control over their choices. This allows each person to discover their life lessons by trial and error with consequences. Another benefit is that you won’t burn out. If you’ve ever been in a job or a position where you feel like you are constantly cleaning up the mess from the bad choices of others, you know what I mean.
People are unique in that each person has their own mind and motivations. The annoying thing about our own selves is that there is a little piece of narcissism in all of us that lets us believe we know best, we know have the answers, and we have the ability to shift the direction of another human being’s life if we just push hard enough.
My father-in-law is a pastor and as a congregant in his church, I watched many broken and desperate people collapse at the alter each Sunday and beg for God’s forgiveness, repent, beg for help to change. As they wept, I witnessed them swear off alcohol, drugs and other sexually deviant behavior. It always brought me to my knees during those early years. This gave me hope. This is an intimate time to be with someone, even in the midst of many people. It’s when they realize they can no longer walk another step alone without God.
But at some point it became annoying…tiresome, even. Some individuals did pull through and make positive changes in their lives. They were mostly repeat customers. I’d watch my father-in-law pick them up, embrace them, offer them food, sustenance, guidance, jobs, a roof over their heads. I did it over and again. He’d offer them everything they could need to make a fresh start and yet so many of them just dropped right back into the terrible decision-making process that brought them to the altar in the first place. It would sometimes drive me crazy. You are so weak! You are so ignorant! What is the point of all this love, all that help and everything?
After watching one man in particular who had fallen on that altar multiple times over the years, only to go back to lying and stealing and abuse, I asked my father-in-law one day, “How do you do it? Is it possible to continue pouring money into the same people? The help is never used. Your sound advice is not appreciated by them and they don’t take any responsibility for the decisions made. They are apathetic and take nothing. Doesn’t that bother you?”
I’ll never forget what he said.
He said, “No. I never get tired. Because I know it’s not my job to save anyone. Only I have the responsibility to help them. The Lord is the only one who saves.”
You can’t save anyone. You don’t have it in you. No one does. The people who think they do are the ones who end up bitter and broken because they’ve done nothing but fail. You’ll always fail when your goal is to be a savior to someone. There is a Savior, but it’s not you. You’ll never fail if your goal is to be a servant, to be someone who expresses the love of the One Savior.
Don’t burn yourself out trying to fix someone else’s life. You can’t do it and it’s not your right to do it anyway. The final decision is theirs. If you don’t grasp this, you will come to hate the very people you feel drawn to help. You’ll resent them, the way I had begun to resent the repeat offenders at my church. You should stay in your own lane.
Serve others, not yourself.
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