‘Colbert News Network’: Lefty Late Show Host Touts EP Taking Over CNN

His Monday Night Show features left-wingers Late ShowStephen Colbert expressed delight that Chris Licht was selected to be the President of CNN. He heaped praise on Licht while jokingly taking credit for having “trained the next president of CNN.”

“First off, I hope everybody here understands that we are not news, we here at The Late Show watch the news like you do and have a reaction like you do,” Colbert claimed moments before he made it all about him and his colleague. “Jim, put up that headline, ‘Executive producer and showrunner of The Late Show Chris Licht has been selected as the next president of CNN,’”Host hailed.

Colbert imagined, in jest: A leftist CNN being recreated under Colbert’s far-left vision.  

That is what’s called breaking news. Chris Licht is the host of this program. He will be taking over CNN. CNN’s new president is me. So I believe – I believe, I believe legally CNN now stands for the Colbert News Network.

According to initial reports, Licht has actually been hired by Discovery CEO David Zaslav to lead CNN “back to the middle” and try to restore its credibility.

“If CNN’s taking Chris, I’m going to take Wolf Blitzer’s beard,” Colbert joked before turning to band leader Jon Batiste and wondering: “Anyone else? Jon, do you have any plans to take over at MSNBC?” Batiste quipped: “Not until I settle beef with Rachel Maddow….We’ve got a thing we gotta work out.”

Colbert then swoons over Licht. “There are bosses and then there are leaders. Bosses will tell you what to do. Leadership is as hard work as it takes to accomplish what’s needed. And that’s what you did….And I’m happy that CNN will now benefit from all of his wisdom.”

The horrifying notion of a “Colbert News Network” was brought to viewers by Vrbo and CarFax. These advertisers can be contacted to let them know your opinion about sponsoring content like this.

The transcript is here from the segment that aired in the early hours of March 1.

12:00 AM ET

STEPHENCOLBERT: Let me start with a simple statement. I don’t think we’re news. The Late ShowWatch the news as you do, and then react just like you. My reaction to the weekend was that CNN has done a better job of covering the story than anyone else. Jim, put up that headline, “Executive producer and showrunner of The Late Show Chris Licht has been selected as the next president of CNN.” (Cheers and applause)

That – that, right there. Good photo, it’s a good photo. That is what’s called breaking news. Chris Licht is the host of this program. He will be taking over CNN. CNN’s new president is me. So I believe – I believe, I believe legally CNN now stands for the Colbert News Network. (Cheers, applause).

Now obviously, Chris is still under contract so we’re going to have to do this like a baseball trade. If CNN’s taking Chris, I’m going to take Wolf Blitzer’s beard.

Anyone else? Jon, are you planning to become the head of MSNBC?

JON BATISTE – Not until I settle beef and Rachel Maddow.

COLBERT: That’s true, that’s true.

BATISTE: We’ve got a thing we gotta work out.

(…)

12:00 AM ET

COLBERT Bosses will tell you what to do. To do the right thing, leaders work just as hard as employees. And that’s what you did. And that is why your leadership – that is why he earned the respect of all of us here who live in the clown car. He was shown what we wanted, and that is the show we are now. He immediately set up the channels of communication and responsibility. This created a respectful work environment that allows for creative ambition to be realized at such a rapid pace. And I’m happy that CNN will now benefit from all of his wisdom.

(…)