“They won’t judge my naked body if I feel self-conscious.”
A single mother informed the world on Saturday that she won’t be needing a man this Valentine’s Day because she has a nearly $4,000 collection of sex toys.
In an interview with the UK Mirror, Elysia Downings, 28, said she had added some $300 in gear to her arsenal just in preparation for the romantic holiday Thursday, including a sex rabbit named Nora to snuggle with.
“Who needs a Valentine’s date when you’ve got sex toys for company?” she said.
Downings, who lives in Buxton, England, called herself “hyper-sexual” and revealed to the tabloid that she masturbates as much as 10 times a day. She admitted that she has been a sex addict for the past 15 years, but said that she doesn’t have patience for actual intercourse.
“The guys have to accept that anything with batteries will always get the job done quicker and more efficiently,” she said. “I’m guaranteed an orgasm – or several.”
Single for the past three years, Downings acknowledged that her addiction is an impediment to dating.
“I understand sex toys can make men feel insecure,” she said. “One man I was seeing threw my vibrator out of the window during an argument. He didn’t like the fact that I was using my toys when he wasn’t there.”
Downings said bluntly: “Vibrators have replaced my sex life.”
She said sex toys are actually better than men in that they don’t make her feel bad about herself.
“They won’t judge my naked body if I feel self-conscious. They won’t cheat on me and they won’t break my heart. What I love most is that I feel comfortable exploring my body with them,” she said.
“I’d rather respect my body by using a toy than being used by a partner who doesn’t value me and then feel bad about myself afterwards.”
Downings said she hides her addiction from her 6-year-old son by barring him from her bedroom.
She also opened up about her growing emotional dependence on sex toys, which she says are “the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning” and the “first thing I do when I get home.”
“I can find myself getting a bit moody if I haven’t had an orgasm. The more I use my toys, the more dependent I become. It feels similar to a cigarette addiction when you get cravings,” she said. “Sometimes if I’m stressed, upset or even excited, I need a release to calm down.”
However, Downings refused to be judged.
“I don’t feel I should be ashamed. Some women have a thing for shoes or bags, I just happen to get my thrills from sex toys,” he said.
She traced her addiction back to her early teenage years, saying masturbating provided an “escape” from a “difficult childhood.”
“When I was 13, I didn’t have sex toys so I used household items instead – back massagers, toothbrushes, anything that vibrates,” she recalled. “It helped distract my mind from the emotions I was dealing with at the time.”
According to Downings, she bought her first dedicated masturbation tool when she was 17, and never looked back: “straight away I was hooked.”
Last year, she turned her addiction into a sex-toy business, Betsy Boudoir, which also allows her to get gadgets for herself at wholesale prices.
In some ways Downings is representative of her millennial generation. It memberes came of age during the heyday of sex-positive feminism, but have less sex, and they are getting married later or not at all.
Still, Downings acknowledged, she would be like to find a boyfriend who could put up with her addiction.
“I’m open to finding a partner but my addiction makes it very difficult to find the right one,” she said. “My perfect man is out there somewhere but for now I’m happy without one.”
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