Unelected on ‘Star Trek,’ ESPN Women Voices Lack, and a Fast-Food Diss Track – Opinion

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. Let’s get to the best examples of journalistic failure-excellence in order to properly identify the low watermark within the media.

 

Distinguished Breaking News

  • Tara Palmeri — Politico

It seems hard to top this Politico hall monitor when it comes to being petty. This outlet claimed that Roger Marshall, a trucker protester who gave a tour to the Capitol, had been reported to DOJ. Politico was impressed by this, despite the fact that it was a Congressional staffer who ran for the phone, as well as Marshall not breaking any congressional rules — let alone any law.

 

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Jim Turner — Orlando Sentinel

When it comes to Lia Thomas, a collegiate trans swimmer, the majority of media outlets have shown two characteristics: they support her wholeheartedly and are constantly confronted with contradictions. For one, Thomas holds the second-fastest school recorded time at 500 meters — made in 2019 when Lia was known as William (but is listed as ‘Lia’) — but it is under the Men’s timing, not women’s.

Governor Ron DeSantis made a stir when he issued an order that declared the second-place swimmer in a race against Lia as the true winner, and in its report on the matter, the Orlando Sentinel opted for scare quotes in listing the swimmer born female and identifying as female as a “woman.”

 

Distinguished Feature Reporting

  • Josephine Harvey — The Huffington Post

Some university researchers in Australia wanted to research the magpie migration. The researchers developed harnesses to allow them to monitor the movement of magpies and to give them full freedom of movement. They were also unable to remove the birds from the harnesses. The pair released about half a dozen of the magpies after they had outfitted them.

Before they had finished packing up their gear, all of the birds had worked together to free themselves of the harnesses  — which took about half-a-year to design — in about 20 minutes.

 

Distinguished Sports Reporting

  • Courtney Lyle, Carolyn Peck — ESPN

During the women’s March Madness NCAA tournament, the ESPN broadcasters felt the need to begin their third quarter broadcast by not doing their jobs. They announced they were going to have a moment of silence — over the Florida Parental Rights in Education law passing. It had no impact on the game which took place in Greensboro North Carolina. The teams were South Carolina and Howard.

While focusing on a story about politics that was not related to the broadcast, they chose to ignore the story Brittney Griner (WNBA player) who is held in Russia. They might have been more objective in their recognition of the loss at the network.

 

Specialized Explanatory Reporting

  • Theresa Ghilarducci — Bloomberg

It is helpful for those in lower socioeconomic ranks to have their journalism colleagues offer advice on how to deal with these difficult times. Ghilarducci offers many options to help plebeians find financial relief. You could either sell your car or take the bus. Also, we should not take our pets to the veterinarian anymore. We don’t need meat, do we? You lowlifes, get rid of steaks and eat lentils instead!

 

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Kelly Wynne — People Magazine

The producers of “Star Trek: Discovery” thought it was a grand idea to make a statement by having Stacey Abrams appear on their show in a cameo. It was logical, as she is an avid fan of the show.

However, in placing her in a position of an elected official – posturing here as President of United Earth – what they are essentially showing us is that Abrams winning an elected office is, in fact, science fiction.

 

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

  • Jason Newman — Rolling Stone

We learn the backstory behind rap star Pusha T writing the newest song to promote Arby’s fish sandwich. It is a direct shot at Mcdonald’s and its generationally-established Filet-O-Fish. It turns out Pusha T claims to have written the jingle for McDonald’s, ‘I’m Lovin’ It,’  and feels he has been slighted.

He was paid half a million dollars for that four-second ditty, but considering it became the fast-food chain’s longest-running ad campaign, he feels as if he was severely shorted in royalties. For the competition, he wrote a diss track.

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