Categories: News

Variant Vocabulary, Salmon Semen, and Pandemic Pinky Toes – Opinion

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. Let’s get to the best examples of journalistic failure-excellence in order to properly identify the low watermarks within the media.

The Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

Sometimes, when you try to give the spin for an unexplicable choice, it might not work. NotThis is the best way to go. The AP wanted to know why the World Health Organization decided on the clunky Omicron name for the COVID variant. It turns out that they wanted to stray from the common practice of naming a strain after a region to avoid cultural offenses — so they opted to use letters from a cultural alphabet.

However, this was not enough. The WHO chose not to include certain letters as they feared letter Xi might be too sensitive to China’s people, since it is derived from the GREEK alphabet.

 

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

  • Hunter Walker – Rolling Stone

The outlet that broke open the non-existent Ivermectin hospital overflow story has another massive breaking…fable. This time some anonymous sources claim some of the people involved in the Capitol riot bought some burner phones and made some phone calls to some members of the Trump administration at some point in the past…and somehow we are supposed to care.

This sounds like potentially explosive news until you realize the FBI had no such information — you know, the federal outfit that declared there was no planning behind the January riot. Near the end, there is concrete reporting on actual telephone call details. These organizers were part of the national team that organized Trump’s tours. In one confirmed call, they reached Eric and Lara Trump directly — in order to discuss where to park a bus…at one of the Trump hotels…in Las Vegas…last Christmas. This is the revealing sentence that lies deep within the expose.

  • There was no evidence the Kremers and the other rally organizers encouraged or planned violence in the group-text messages reviewed by Rolling Stone.

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

Donald Trump gave a series of interviews over the last few months in which he pointed out that gasoline prices are significantly higher today than they were during his tenure. The prices of gasoline are now much higher than they were in the past. Daniel Dale was shocked to hear these claims. He launched with an apology. One issue is that in some interviews, he referenced the price when Trump left office 10 months ago, and in others, he has said one year ago — and those are different prices!

Dale says that the average price in January was $2.34. It was $2.11 last November. All this nickel-and-dime is done to distract from the reality that the current price fluctuates at $3.41. This is a complete dollar more than when Biden was inaugurated.

 

International Excellence in Reporting

The environmental tale has a happy ending. It would have been a great honor to be present at the meeting where this idea was developed. Scientists may have had a lucky break in their quest to create a biodegradable plastic alternative that does not depend on fossil fuels. They are developing a new polymer that is certainly renewable – it is made from fish sperm.

Somehow, they have hit upon a technique that takes the sperm, binds it with elements from vegetable oil, and then the resulting gel is freeze-dried, so it…um…hardens.

It is difficult to sell this product. However, as an example of the possibilities they had with their new product they made a coffee mug that I wouldn’t be able bring to my desk.

 

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

It is a tedious and never ending practice for the press to dictate what words should not be used. This time it comes from Vice News, which is always well-informed and very eloquent. (On the topic, I say we ban the use of the phrase, “It’s time that we stop…”, the indicative preamble of a social lecture by these activist scolds.)

They’ve come up with an entirely new word and seem to have forgotten the most important truth. They are attempting to beg for the removal of BLACKLIST from the dictionary. It is an exclusive word. This is despite it being exclusionary.

 

Distinguished Sports Reporting

  • Andrew Beaton – Wall Street Journal

The Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has become a hot topic in recent weeks. But maybe we should have more compassion for him. While Rodgers has been criticised for failing to have the COVID shot, I don’t know of any other places to take my feet.!

This post was last modified on December 1, 2021 6:36 pm

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Published by
Pluralist
5 years ago

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